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10.What are the solutions for the traffic jams in big cities such as Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh ?

10. What are the solutions for the traffic jams in big cities such as Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh? Nynnd
Viet Nam has changed a lot than the past. It is developing to be a rich country day by day, but besides that, many problems are arised, especially traffic jams. It’s a serious problem not only in some foreign countries but also in big cities in VN like Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh. So here are the reasons and solutions to this problems. First and foremost, it caused from behaviour of pedestrians. They don’t obey strictly the rules by many ways such as driving after drinking alcoholic drinks or don’t wear helmet. So the governments should raise up the awareness of the citizen about the traffic rules; if they don’t obey, must warn and punish them by money to make them more conscious. We need to educate people about this by articles on newspaper, television or lessons at schools. Additionally, many foreigners say that travelling on the roads in Hanoi at rush hours is such a nightmare! because the main roads which are generally small and narrow are unable to bear a huge number of people going out nearly at the same time. As we know, traffic jam is unavoidable. Therefore, the roads need enlarging and upgrading in order to be compatible with the number of travelers and the development of the city. Moreover, most of us nowadays tend to use our own vehicles to go to work or go to school. Motorbikes discharge a numerous mount of smog, which not only can make the air polluted but also the reasons for some health problems. So, we must encourage people use public transport instead of private vehicles. To make it easier, we must open more routes for buses and using double decker buses to attract people and save space. In additon, schools should provide school buses to reduce the number of vehicles used for taking students to school. Last but not least, if the distance is short, we should walk instead of starting up the motobike engines. It helps us healthier, protect the environment and reduce traffic jams. To summarise, it’s a really serious problem that many big countries and VN must deal with, but that's not why we don't try to reduce it day by day because reducing traffic jams brings our country a lot of advantages such as saving costs, time, energy; attracting foreign investment and developing tourism.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot than the past. It is developing to be a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
besides
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "arose", the past tense form of the verb 'arise'?
arised
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams. It’s a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign
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countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities in VN like Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
here are the reasons and solutions to
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems.

First
and foremost, it caused from
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of pedestrians. They don’t obey
strictly
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways such as driving after drinking alcoholic drinks or don’t wear helmet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should raise up the awareness of the citizen about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
; if they don’t obey,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
warn and punish them by money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more conscious. We need to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about this by articles on newspaper, television or lessons at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigners say that travelling on the roads in Hanoi at rush hours is such a nightmare!
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
the main roads which are
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and narrow are unable to bear a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going out
nearly
at the same time. As we know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is unavoidable.
Therefore
, the roads need enlarging and upgrading in order to be compatible with the number of travelers and the development of the city.
Moreover
, most of us nowadays tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles to go to work or go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Motorbikes discharge a numerous mount of smog, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the air polluted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport
instead
of private vehicles. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
open more routes for buses and using
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
double decker
buses to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and save space. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
additon
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
buses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for taking students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, if the distance is short, we should walk
instead
of starting up the
Possible spelling mistake found.
motobike
engines. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us healthier, protect the environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it’s a
really
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and VN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
deal with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that's not why we don't try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams brings our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages such as saving costs, time, energy; attracting foreign investment and developing tourism.
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IELTS essay 10. What are the solutions for the traffic jams in big cities such as Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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