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Last journey and the immigration

Last journey and the immigration weXXn
Four years ago, since I was a bachelor, I had planned to immigrate to Europe, absolutely to Germany. To decide to abandon my country was not easy. I must be clever and keen to check out the immigrations data that I had. Also, it was necessary to use tact to choosing the best way to start that adventure. In addition, I had to qualify for that and take an oath, although immigration makes a hardship situation for me. Thus, I won the goal and got Visa to start this journey. When I was at the airport, my destination country airport, I sensed my pocket was vacant. So, I saw a gallant man, was looked like a taxi driver. I asked him to take me to the bank where I to take money from my digital wallet. He agreed, so we went, but there is something untold yet, as he looked like a jealous person, his car was not unaccustomed to be a taxi.
Four years ago, since I was a bachelor, I had planned to immigrate to Europe,
absolutely
to Germany. To decide to abandon my country was not easy. I
must
be clever and keen to
check
out the
immigrations
data that I had.
Also
, it was necessary to
use
tact to choosing the best way to
start
that adventure.
In addition
, I had to qualify for that and take an oath, although immigration
makes
a hardship situation for me.

Thus
, I won the goal and
got
Visa to
start
this journey. When I was at the airport, my destination country airport, I sensed my pocket was vacant.

So
, I
saw
a gallant
man
,
was looked
like a taxi driver. I asked him to take me to the bank where I to take money from my digital wallet. He
agreed
,
so
we went,
but
there is something untold
yet
, as he looked like a jealous person, his car was not unaccustomed to be a taxi.
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IELTS essay Last journey and the immigration

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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