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Teaching kids at home or school

Teaching kids at home or school K050N
These days teaching children play a vital role to build a fabulous community. So, a shocking number of individuals think that teaching kids at home is a wonderful choice for a child's development, while others believe that it is crucial for a kid to go to school. This essay will discus both sides and will draw my personal conclusion. In one hand, children's education from home has a great impact to their knowledge, because they will know many information about the life and how to deal with it. For example, studying at home leads to make a smart person in the world. So, that is why a great deal of public consider that teaching at home is amazing. On the other hand, it is true that the most important secret on children is going to school for study. Schools can affect the kid positively as much as teaching at home. To illustrate, schools are not based on one subject, it has many other subjects such as Math, Science, English, Physics and Physical Education. Hence the belief that school has amazing consequences on individuals. Additionally, teachers in the schools will create an intelligent boy, like many other boys in the current days. For an instance, the Tesla company founder Elon Musk or Microsoft founder Bill Gates. These are some of the influencer nowadays. This proves clearly that school is the gate for education and learning. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that both methods has a great result to the kids, and family should be more and more care of children's development.
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
children play a vital role to build a fabulous community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a shocking number of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at home is a wonderful choice for a child's development, while others believe that it is crucial for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This essay will
Did you mean the verb "discuss" (= talk about something)?
discus
both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand, children's education from home has a great impact to their knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will know
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much information", "a good deal of information".
many information
about the life and how to deal with it.
For example
, studying at home leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a smart person in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why a great deal of public consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
at home is amazing.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is true that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
secret on children is going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for study.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
positively
as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
at home. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not based on one subject, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects such as Math, Science, English, Physics and Physical Education.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has amazing consequences on individuals.

Additionally
, teachers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will create an intelligent boy, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
boys in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days. For an instance, the Tesla
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
founder Elon Musk or Microsoft founder Bill Gates. These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
influencer nowadays. This proves
clearly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the gate for education and learning.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that both methods has a great result to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, and family should be more and more care of children's development.
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IELTS essay Teaching kids at home or school

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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