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Writting a report- school magazine.

Writting a report- school magazine. K0531
•Report on a Sports competition of 46th anniversary of the establishment of the school held at Tan Lien Secondary and elmentary school. - By Hoa Nguyen/ Anh Tran, Editor of the school magazine. • The Sports competition was organized on 22th August on the topic" 46th anniversary of the establishment of the school" • The competition began with a big applause for many special guests, the participants espoused by head teacher- mr. Khoan. Then, the competition officially took place. All the students were really excited after all this was the time to enjoy beyond the studies and they all have participated in many different games and as it was the annual sports meet so non-sports persons were also taking part very enthusiastically. That morning after the assembly one by one all the events got started. All have selected for different events and started practising and making them well and fit for the day. The sports events started athletic where the first event students started to do 100mtr, 200mtr, and 400mtr races. Then the relay race was organised, the shuttle race was also there. Some students fell down while running for the competition, they got the treatment at a hospital. So we have to stopped. • At the end of the competion, all the winner were awarded a Meda. Anh Tran has a sliver medal and i got a broze one. • In spite of the fact that, something bad happened but everybody really enjoyed it.
Possible spelling mistake found.
•Report
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
of 46th anniversary of the establishment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
held at Tan Lien Secondary

and
Possible spelling mistake found.
elmentary
school.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
By
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoa
Nguyen/
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anh
Tran, Editor of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
magazine.

• The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
was organized
on
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
22th
August on the topic
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
46th anniversary of the establishment of the school
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"


• The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
began with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
applause for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
special guests, the participants espoused by head teacher-
Possible spelling mistake found.
mr
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khoan
. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
officially
took place. All the students were
really
excited
after all
this was the time to enjoy beyond the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studies and
they all have participated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
games and as it was the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
non-sports persons were
also
taking part
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enthusiastically
. That morning after the assembly one by one all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
. All have selected for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
and making them well and fit for the day. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
athletic where the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
to do 100mtr, 200mtr, and 400mtr races. Then the relay race was
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organise' and 'organize') within a single text.
organised
, the shuttle race was
also
there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
students fell down while running for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the treatment at a hospital.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

• At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
competion
, all the winner
were awarded
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meda
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anh
Tran has a sliver medal and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
broze
one.

•
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that, something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everybody
really
enjoyed it.
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IELTS essay Writting a report- school magazine.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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