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Prison is usually conceived as an ideal environment for the proliferation of crimes, which negates its prime purpose. Meanwhile, the minority believes that such place fails to exert an intimidating atmosphere in order to deter people from committing crimes.

Prison is usually conceived as an ideal environment for the proliferation of crimes, which negates its prime purpose. Meanwhile, the minority believes that such place fails to exert an intimidating atmosphere in order to deter people from committing crimes. WE6nK
Prison is usually conceived as an ideal environment for the proliferation of crimes, which negates its prime purpose. Meanwhile, the minority believes that such a place fails to exert an intimidating atmosphere to deter people from committing crimes. From my perspective, while jail fulfills its job of teaching lawbreakers a lesson, it is still far from eliminating social vices. Contrary to popular belief, prison actually increases the crime rate rather than decreases it. As criminals are sent to jail, instead of living in separate cells according to everyone’s description of prison life, they stay with at least one more person. As a result, prisoners can cooperate with others with similar backgrounds, leading to gangs' formation, setting up a violent environment. For instance, when a serial killer is paired with another murderer, they are likely to retain their aggressive behaviors and start recruiting other inmates to cause chaos. Some might argue that prison guards can control the situation, but since they mostly do their jobs only for money, rarely do they care about the surrounding scenario. However, it is invalid to claim that prison life is not punishing enough because the place is converse to regular life. Prisoners are deprived of commodities commonly found in society like comfortable sleeping areas and delicious food once they start their sentence. Additionally, upon entering jail, inmates instantly lose their freedom and have to obey the place’s rules that are guaranteed to make prisoners suffer. One notable example is that inmates are required to follow a hectic schedule, including a curfew, strict meal times, and only a small proportion of time to have leisure and interact with the outside world. One might say that these are not sufficient, but the freedom deprivation alone is the largest punishment desired by no one. To summarize, despite its frightening life, prison remains one of the most dangerous places in the world because of its never-ending violence caused by relentless inmates. Although the government makes an effort to fend off such behaviors, I’m afraid that this is not enough.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prison
is
usually
conceived as an ideal environment for the proliferation of crimes, which negates its prime purpose. Meanwhile, the minority believes that such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
fails to exert an intimidating atmosphere to deter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from committing crimes. From my perspective, while jail fulfills its job of teaching lawbreakers a lesson, it is
still
far from eliminating social vices.

Contrary to popular belief,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
actually increases the crime rate
rather
than decreases it. As criminals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to jail,
instead
of living in separate cells according to everyone’s description of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they stay with at least one more person.
As a result
, prisoners can cooperate with others with similar backgrounds, leading to gangs' formation, setting up a violent environment.
For instance
, when a serial killer
is paired
with another murderer, they are likely to retain their aggressive behaviors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
recruiting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inmates
to cause chaos.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
guards can control the situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since they
mostly
do their jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for money, rarely do they care about the surrounding scenario.

However
, it is invalid to claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not punishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is converse to regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Prisoners
are deprived
of commodities
commonly
found in society like comfortable sleeping areas and delicious food once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their sentence.
Additionally
, upon entering jail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inmates
instantly
lose their freedom and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
obey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that
are guaranteed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
prisoners suffer. One notable example is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inmates
are required
to follow a hectic schedule, including a curfew, strict meal times, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of time to have leisure and interact with the outside world. One might say that these are not sufficient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the freedom deprivation alone is the largest punishment desired by no one.

To summarize
, despite its frightening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
remains one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its never-ending violence caused by relentless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inmates
. Although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an effort to fend off such behaviors, I’m afraid that this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
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IELTS essay Prison is usually conceived as an ideal environment for the proliferation of crimes, which negates its prime purpose. Meanwhile, the minority believes that such place fails to exert an intimidating atmosphere in order to deter people from committing crimes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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