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Teaching children to become good members of society

Teaching children to become good members of society ABPqx
Man is a social being and no one can survive alone in this harsh vast world. Some people believe that parents are solely responsible for their children to become good members of society while others argue that schools are the best place to learn good etiquettes for children to become responsible members of society. However, I believe that both parents and schools should play their own roles in shaping the future of the world that the youth today holds. All parents hope that their children will become good leaders or members of the society one day. Being the first teachers of life, parents have to take the most responsibilities for their children since birth. Parents should teach their children good manners and etiquettes since childhood. They should act in careful manners around their children as babies tend to follow and copy everything their parents do. Parents had better train and be warm to their children in order for them to not become spoiled and social outcasts when they start to go to schools. Although parents being the first teachers of life for the youth, schools can be the second and last teachers. While being equally responsible for the shaping of the children’s characters, the school is essentially the microcosm of the universe. When the children start to go to school, they must eventually interact with other children. This is the time when they get to apply good manners and etiquettes that their parents taught them. To conclude, I believe both parents and schools are equally responsible in molding the characters of the children. However, as schools are temporary, teachers at schools cannot give individual attention to each child and so I think parents play the most crucial role in teaching their children to become good members of society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
is a social being and no one can survive alone in this harsh vast world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
solely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
while others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the best place to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
etiquettes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should play their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
roles in shaping the future of the world that the youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
holds.

All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hope that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
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become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
leaders or
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members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
one day. Being the
first
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teachers
of life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the most responsibilities for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since birth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners and
Possible spelling mistake found.
etiquettes
since childhood. They should act in careful manners around their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as babies tend to follow and copy everything their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
had better train and be warm to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in order for them to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
spoiled and social outcasts when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to go to schools.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
being the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
of life for the youth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can be the second and last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. While being
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the shaping of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
characters, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
essentially
the microcosm of the universe. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
eventually
interact with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is the time when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to apply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners and
Possible spelling mistake found.
etiquettes
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
taught them.

To conclude
, I believe both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
in molding the characters of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are temporary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
cannot give individual attention to each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play the most crucial role in teaching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Teaching children to become good members of society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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