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What are the advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave? Which side do you feel outweighs the other.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave? Which side do you feel outweighs the other. JlKAB
Laws and social practices surrounding maternity leave vary widely from one country to another. Equally varied are the positions people take on whether maternity leave brings with it more advantages or disadvantages. A conclusion will be reached following this essay’s discussion of these two positions. On the one hand, the benefits young families receive from paid work leave are evident. For one, it gives new mothers a chance to properly prepare for the birth of their child and recuperate afterward. Not having to shoulder the financial burdens that come with taking unpaid leave, mothers can focus entirely on providing a healthy home environment for their new baby. Thus, the advantages that come from maternity leave are obvious. However, paid maternity leave can also cause some hesitation towards the hiring of women, particularly among high-pressure corporate positions. For example, often companies in Shanghai will ask job seeking women whether they are married or not. By hiring unmarried women, these firms hope to circumvent the need to provide parental leave should one of their married employees decide to start a family. As these sorts of practices are not isolated to only Shanghai, it is clear that maternity programs have the disadvantage of indirectly encouraging sexism. Following this look, it is difficult to say the disadvantages of maternity leave outweigh the advantages. Thus, programs that offer new mothers paid work leave are thought to provide more benefits than drawbacks. It is hoped that parental leave programs will continue to develop and improve into the foreseeable future.
Laws and social practices surrounding maternity
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leave
vary
widely
from one country to another.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Equally
varied are the positions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take on whether maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
brings with it more advantages or disadvantages. A conclusion will
be reached
following this essay’s discussion of these two positions.

On the one hand, the benefits young families receive from paid work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
are evident. For one, it gives new mothers a chance to
properly
prepare for the birth of their child and recuperate afterward. Not having to shoulder the financial
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
burdens


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with taking unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
, mothers can focus
entirely
on providing a healthy home environment for their new baby.
Thus
, the advantages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
are obvious.

However
, paid maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
can
also
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hesitation towards the hiring of women,
particularly
among high-pressure corporate positions.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Shanghai will ask job seeking women whether they
are married
or not. By hiring unmarried women, these firms hope to circumvent the need to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
provide


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
should one of their married employees decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a family. As these sorts of practices are not isolated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Shanghai, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that maternity programs have the disadvantage of
indirectly
encouraging sexism.

Following this look, it is difficult to say the disadvantages of maternity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
outweigh the advantages.
Thus
, programs that offer new mothers paid work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to provide more benefits than drawbacks. It
is hoped
that parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
programs


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
will
continue to develop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
into the foreseeable future.
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IELTS essay What are the advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave? Which side do you feel outweighs the other.

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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