Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In countries, students are encouraged to take a year after high school to work or travel. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Give examples

In countries, students are encouraged to take a year after high school to work or travel. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Give examples 0nM7n
Taking time off from formal education has become an on-going trend among the younger generation. It is a pause between the end of high school and the beginning of a university year. Although some students would spend the year touring different countries, others would get a job or volunteer. Nonetheless, this essay would discuss how the growth the individual attains is more advantageous than the drawback of an academic sidetrack Firstly, the advantages from taking a year off school are enormous. It ultimately encourages maturity. The student gets to experience a well-rounded professional, intellectually, culturally and self growth. For example; a student who spends the year travelling would be exposed to diverse cultural background which will in turn push them beyond the boundaries of their norms. They would get to try different cuisines and communicate with natives of the country they are visiting. Furthermore, a young individual that decided to work would experience the work place setting which would constantly test their ideas and believes. This heightened self-awareness and maturity are therefore more beneficial. However, being away from formal education for such extended period of time can be detrimental to the young person’s academics. The break can result in the student losing a sense of discipline they had while in a school. In addition, there is a high tendency of becoming distracted. For example, they may become deluded with the money they are making which would rob them the chance of a university or college education. Hence, the future opportunity to earn higher income later in life becomes impossible as a result of these complications from study break. In conclusion, the decision to take time off school to earn a living or travel is an individual resolve. However, in my opinion, I think the benefits as a result of the level maturity to attain surpasses the disadvantage of some students misplaced priority.
Taking time off from formal education has become an
Did you mean "ongoing"?
on-going
trend among the younger generation. It is a pause between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the beginning of a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
touring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, others would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job or volunteer. Nonetheless, this essay would discuss how the growth the individual attains is more advantageous than the drawback of an academic sidetrack

Firstly
, the advantages from taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are enormous. It
ultimately
encourages maturity. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to experience a well-rounded professional,
intellectually
,
culturally
and self growth.
For example
; a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who spends the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
travelling would
be exposed
to diverse cultural background which will in turn push them beyond the boundaries of their norms. They would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cuisines and communicate with natives of the country they are visiting.
Furthermore
, a young individual that decided to work would experience the work place setting which would
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and believes. This heightened self-awareness and maturity are
therefore
more beneficial.

However
, being away from formal education for such extended period of time can be detrimental to the young person’s academics. The break can result in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
losing a sense of discipline they had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "whiled".
while
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In addition
, there is a high tendency of becoming distracted.
For example
, they may become deluded with the money they are making which would rob them the chance of a university or college education.
Hence
, the future opportunity to earn higher income later in life becomes impossible
as a result
of these complications from study break.

In conclusion
, the decision to take time off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to earn a living or travel is an individual resolve.
However
, in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the benefits
as a result
of the level maturity to attain surpasses the disadvantage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
misplaced priority.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In countries, students are encouraged to take a year after high school to work or travel. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Give examples

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Describe a change in the past few years in your city.
    I would like to talk about instructral changes that took place in my hometown Tehran in past few years. one of them is construction of buildings in my city that had happened in good climate area and good view to jungles and far from pullotion and one of them is develop transportation system that add...
  • 6band
    What are the advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave? Which side do you feel outweighs the other.
    Laws and social practices surrounding maternity leave vary widely from one country to another. Equally varied are the positions people take on whether maternity leave brings with it more advantages or disadvantages. A conclusion will be reached following this essay’s discussion of these two position...
  • 5.5band
    Describe a puzzle you have played.
    Well, I like to play a different kind of games but when it comes to Puzzle games I believe that nothing is better than these puzzles to enhance one's mental ability. My most favourite puzzle game is the word search game. I came to know about this game from my sister. When I played this game on her ...
  • 6band
    Technology and evolution of social networking
    Technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds and providing us new avenues while keeping ourselves updated with the latest news and current affairs. Therefore, a fair amount of people believe, a conventional way of newspaper reading will be disappeared. I do not completely accord with it because a c...
  • 5.5band
    People today mood new countries more than ever before what is to the experience that studies are there to meet the challenges
    it seems a new train to move the country started their life as a human being wants to explore the world and Honda with having you experience ever before let's discuss the problems and solution associated with this issue. enemy green me face number of challenges when they start your life in a new cou...
  • 5.5band
    The subject which you do not want to study
    In education, perhaps the students love chemistry. But my hate subject is Chemistry because of several reasons. The first reason I hate this subject is that it is a difficult subject. I try to learn that subject but don't success. I point out this subject that isn't an important part of the career f...