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Teachers tend to talk about different aspects of society and politics

Teachers tend to talk about different aspects of society and politics 68Yr
Teachers tend to talk about different aspects of society and politics [when giving their lectures]. Some people believe that teachers have th[e] right to present their own [insights] about different aspects of society and diverse political events in the classroom while some others do not. I personally think that teachers should not allow [their students to] become aware of their views about these issues due to the fact that social and political issues are always disputable and instead of presenting their own [opinions] views, teachers should talk about different viewpoints. {to reduce repetition}Moreover, it may change student's attitudes about the teacher. To begin, I think that political and social issues are always disputable because power and money may have [be] related to these [topics] issues. For example, some people like[are inclined] to be reformists and some others tend to be conservative and each one likes to read newspapers which state their own party’s views. But these authorities always depict politicians[’ perspectives] views that try to get money and power in their hands. {this is a bit confusing - maybe “politicians’ perspectives: politicians who are constantly trying to gain more money and power. ”} Therefore they may hide the truth when they talk about different social events and issues. So, people sometimes may not understand the truth [reality] behind this news [stories] and interviews and [as] a result, try to [defend a stance] protect a view and this always starts dispute. I think that students should [instead] think about proven facts and should not [be tempted to] enter these political games [by teachers who share too many personal opinions]. {these additions seem to tie your example closer with the prompt} Furthermore, stating [of] their own [vantage points] sight by teachers in the class, {better to say “teachers stating their own vantage points in the class may”} may change students[’] view about the teacher and some students think [may come to the conclusion] {or “may think”} that their teacher is not a good person. For instance, some students may think [differently] than their teacher about [a ]presidential election. So, if their teacher is a fan of another party, these students may [be of the opinion] think {or “may decide”} that their teacher is not an excellent teacher and this may have negative effects on their learning process. To sum up[, ] I believe that teachers should talk just about scientific issues which have [been] proven and are undisputable to [manage] their classes more efficiently.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspects of society and politics [when giving their lectures].
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
[e] right to present their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
[insights] about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspects of society and diverse political
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the classroom while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others do not. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
[their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to] become aware of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
due to the fact that social and political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are always disputable and
instead
of presenting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
[opinions]
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
viewpoints. {to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
repetition}
Moreover
, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
student's attitudes about the teacher.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that political and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are always disputable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
power and money may have [be] related to these [topics]
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like[
are inclined
] to be reformists and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others tend to be conservative and each one likes to read newspapers which state their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
party’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these authorities always depict politicians[’ perspectives]
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
that try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money and power in their hands. {this is a bit confusing
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
maybe “politicians’ perspectives: politicians who are
constantly
trying to gain more money and power. ”}
Therefore
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
the truth when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may not understand the truth [reality] behind this news [stories] and interviews and [as] a result, try to [defend a stance] protect a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
and this always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
dispute. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should [
instead
]
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about proven facts and should not [
be tempted
to] enter these political games [by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who share too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
personal opinions]. {these additions seem to tie your example closer with the prompt}

Furthermore
, stating [of] their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
[vantage points] sight by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, {better to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“teachers
stating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vantage points in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
may”} may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students[’]
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
[may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the conclusion] {or “may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think”}
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
[
differently
] than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
about [a
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
]
presidential election.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is a fan of another party, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may [be of the opinion]
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
{or “may decide”} that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is not an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and this may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their learning process.

To sum up[,
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
]
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which have [been] proven and are undisputable to [manage] their classes more
efficiently
.
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IELTS essay Teachers tend to talk about different aspects of society and politics

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
412 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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