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Teacher influence intelectual and social development of children better than parent. To what extend do you agree/disagree?

Teacher influence intelectual and social development of children better than parent. GLrbe
Since the parents spend more time togehter with their children, it encourages children’s social skills. However, teacher has a big role to leverage children’s intelectual improvement due to their capability to teach. Even though teacher has a capability to teach that could influence more in children’s intelectual development, parent spend more time with their children together that affect children’s social skills. In schools, teachers indeed act as second parents for their students and of course teachers play an important role in children's development because students spend a lot of time at school. In addition to teaching reading or arithmetic, teachers also teach students about social life and always monitor the progress of their students at school. So, it can be said that teachers play an important role in schools. Likewise, the role of parents is also more important for the development of children. Because, parents are the first people in contact with children and some studies also say that most brain development occurs before the age of three. Meanwhile, children start school when they are 4 or 5 years old, so that parents play more roles in the lives and development of their children. So it can be concluded that the role of teachers and parents is very important for the development of children, especially children who are underage who still need close supervision.
Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend more time
Possible spelling mistake found.
togehter
with their
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children
, it encourages
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children’s
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
However
,
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teacher
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
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role
to leverage
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children’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
intelectual
improvement due to their capability to teach.

Even though
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teacher
has a capability to teach that could influence more in
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children’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
intelectual
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development
,
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parent
spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
together that affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In
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schools
,
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teachers
indeed
act as second
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parents
for their
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students
and
of course
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teachers
play an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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students
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time at
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school
.
In addition
to teaching reading or arithmetic,
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teachers
also
teach
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students
about social life and always monitor the progress of their
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students
at
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school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it can
be said
that
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teachers
play an
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important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in schools.

Likewise
, the
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role
of
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parents
is
also
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
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parents
are the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in contact with
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children
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies
also
say that most brain
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development
occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the age of three. Meanwhile,
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
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school
when they are 4 or 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of their children.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it can
be concluded
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are underage who
still
need close supervision.

IELTS essay Teacher influence intelectual and social development of children better than parent.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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