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teach children competition or co-operation

teach children competition or co-operation 6LxE3
People have different views about whether children should be thought to be competitive or co-operative. While a spirit of competition can sometimes be useful in life, I believe that the ability to co-operate is more important. On one hand, competition motivates children to work hard. When children try to compete in a competition, they will learn how to reach their goals independently and as a result, they will become more self-confident. It can be argued that competition should be encouraged in order to prepare children for adult life. On the other hand, It is perhaps even more important to prepare children for the many aspects of adults life that required co-operation. In the workplace, adults are expected to work in a team, follow instructions given by their superior, or supervise and support the junior members of staff. Team collaboration skills are much more useful than a competitive determination win. This is the attitude that I believe schools should foster younger people. In conclusion, I can understand why people might want to encourage competitiveness in children, but It seems to me that a co-operative attitude is much more desirable in adult life.
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People
have
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different
views about whether
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children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be competitive or co-operative. While a spirit of
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competition
can
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sometimes
be useful in
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life
, I believe that the ability to co-operate is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. On one hand,
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competition
motivates
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children
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. When
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children
try to compete in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, they will learn how to reach their goals
independently
and
as a result
, they will become more self-confident. It can
be argued
that
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competition
should
be encouraged
in order to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
On the other hand
, It is perhaps even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that required co-operation. In the workplace,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to work in a team, follow instructions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their superior, or supervise and support the junior members of staff. Team collaboration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are much more useful than a competitive determination win. This is the attitude that I believe schools should foster younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In conclusion
, I can understand why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might want to encourage competitiveness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems to me that a co-operative attitude is much more desirable in adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay teach children competition or co-operation

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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