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Taxing Industries, corporates and individuals based on their environmental footprint is the only way to save the environment. Do you agree with the statement? Give your opinion. v.1

Taxing Industries, corporates and individuals based on their environmental footprint is the only way to save the environment. Give your opinion. v. 1
It has been said that people always fail in building a perfect society. I personally agree with this, however, I also believe that several solutions can be practiced to make our world better place. What is an ideal community? From my point of view, there are several aspects that can be considered whether a community is perfect or not. Firstly, it would be an equitable society where has no room for gender inequality, discrimination, or the gap between the poor and the rich. It means that all people should have the same chances to access to basic needs, education and health care systems. Secondly, a dreaming nation must have the sustainable development. In this nation, the government should reduce the unemployment rate as much as possible and maintain the reasonable cost of living. Apart from developing national economy, protecting and preserving environment must be taken into consideration in all nations. Nowadays, it is too difficult for human to meet these requirements when creating this kind of society because of people’s selfishness and illiteracy. Although people have never achieved a perfect community, there have several practical measures which can be applied as to make our world better place. As for governments and organizations, they might launch campaigns which aim to raise the public awareness of living in harmony with other residents and nature as well. For example, a famous coffee corporation called Trung Nguyen have been providing a number of inspirational books to Vietnamese people, which directly encourages them to spread their kindness in the community. Furthermore, it is essential each individual treat to others and the natural world as the way they want to be treated. Additionally, if there have more law-abiding and hard-working citizens, the better a society will become in the not too distant future. In conclusion, creating an ideal world is a demanding and challenging mission to all nations. It seems to be impossible, but we can contribute to the better progress in human history by some above practical ways
It has
been said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always fail in building a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this,
however
, I
also
believe that several solutions can
be practiced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place.

What is an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
? From my point of view, there are several aspects that can
be considered
whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is perfect or not.
Firstly
, it would be an equitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where has no room for gender inequality, discrimination, or the gap between the poor and the rich. It means that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the same chances to access to basic needs, education and health care systems.
Secondly
, a dreaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have the sustainable development. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate as much as possible and maintain the reasonable cost of living. Apart from developing national economy, protecting and preserving environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into consideration in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Nowadays, it is too difficult for human to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
these requirements when creating this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
selfishness and illiteracy.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have never achieved a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, there have several practical measures which can
be applied
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place. As for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and organizations, they might launch campaigns which aim to raise the public awareness of living in harmony with other residents and nature
as well
.
For example
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
coffee corporation called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trung
Nguyen have been providing a number of inspirational books to Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
directly
encourages them to spread their kindness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Furthermore
, it is
Did you mean "essentially"?
essential
each individual treat to others and the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as the way they want to
be treated
.
Additionally
, if there have more law-abiding and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working citizens, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will become in the not too distant future.

In conclusion
, creating an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is a demanding and challenging mission to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. It seems to be impossible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
progress in human history by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
above practical
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ways
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Taxing Industries, corporates and individuals based on their environmental footprint is the only way to save the environment. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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