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task2-can colours affect people

task2-can colours affect people dq3E7
It is argued in the statement that colour can influence how you feel and when organizing around, especially offices and hospitals, people should be careful according to psychologists for a long time. From my point of view, it is true that colour can affect us time by time but there are more important things than this. As a matter of fact, it is often thought by many people who works at the office areas, being comfortable is the most important thing compared to think about colour such as having a comfy chair, desk and environment. In addition, visitors and employees should worry about money. For this reason, they should leave from their senses, keep their energy on work and need to focus on business not colours. With regards to hospitals, the people who have been around these areas are nervous about health issues. For example, when patients come to hospital, they may not notice anything around, even in front of their eyes, because of the worried conditions. This situation shows that quality of hospital wards, operation areas, how much qualified doctors and nurses is the most significant point in stead of colour. In terms of children, some people can think colours are effective for them but hospitals are not entertainment areas, parents should interested in their patients. Additionally, when we think about doctors and nurses, they are too busy to look around and also, they are allowed to go outside to take fresh air. In conclusion, sometimes, colours can affect our lives in a positive way but we should not forget this, if our opportunities at the offices, hospitals and these kinds of important areas are not good enough for us, colours do not mean anything, even if they are the best choices for places.
It
is argued
in the statement that
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
can influence how you feel and when organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
,
especially
offices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be careful according to psychologists for a long time. From my point of view, it is true that
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
can affect us time by time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things than this.

As a matter of fact, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
works
at the office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, being comfortable is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
such as having a comfy chair, desk and environment.
In addition
, visitors and employees should worry about money.
For this reason
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
from their senses,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their energy on work and need to focus on business not
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are nervous about health issues.
For example
, when patients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
, they may not notice anything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
, even in front of their eyes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the worried conditions. This situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
wards, operation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, how much qualified doctors and nurses is the most significant point
Did you mean "instead of"?
in stead of
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
. In terms of children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
are effective for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
are not entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, parents should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "interest"
interested
in their patients.
Additionally
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about doctors and nurses, they are too busy to look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
and
also
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go outside to take fresh air.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
can affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should not forget this, if our opportunities at the offices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
and these kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for us,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
do not mean anything, even if they are the best choices for places.
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IELTS essay task2-can colours affect people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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