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Some people believe that money makes life happy to live . How money makes life happier ? Others think that money is not important for Live life happy ?

Some people believe that money makes life happy to live. How money makes life happier? Others think that money is not important for Live life happy? VryD6
The standard of living and cost of living is increasing day by day. A number of proponents believe that that crucial way to live happy life by having lot of fortune. However others advocates that life can make people joyful. This essay will not only discuss both the view points but also give relevant examples. There are copies points which prove that possessing lucrative money make folks Happy. Firstly, when people have alot of money, they can live affluence life. For example, they can buy anything whatever they want to like gold, diamond and exotic cars. Inspite of this, they can come over of any hurdle if one comes in their life wheather, it is related to health problem or something else. For instance, if they get any harmful diseases like cancer which is one of the most expensive disease to cure then with the help of money people can take the treatment to rid of it and can save their life to live long. On the other hand, there are some points which are in the favour of lateral view. First and obvious notion is that, money can not afford healthy relationship like friends and family. To put it more simply, if individuals face any problem then one can talk or take help from their loved ones. Secondly, achievements give hand people to live life happily. In addition to this, someone who wants to become a doctor in their life and able to achieve their goal, it can bring happiness in their life. Also, boost their confidence level. To recapitulate, although there are lots of other ways to stay happy but money is one of it which makes life easy to survive, yet there are other ways as well instead of possessing finance such as good friends and family support.
The standard of living and cost of living is increasing day by day. A number of proponents believe that that crucial way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by having
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
fortune.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
others advocates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
joyful. This essay will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discuss both the view points
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give relevant examples. There are copies points which prove that possessing lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
folks Happy.
Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
affluence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything whatever they want to like gold, diamond and exotic cars.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of this, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over of any hurdle if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheather
, it
is related
to health problem or something else.
For instance
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any harmful diseases like cancer which is one of the most expensive
Please check whether a plural form of 'disease' should be used.
disease
to cure then with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take the treatment to rid of it and can save their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
long. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points which are in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of lateral view.
First
and obvious notion is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can not afford healthy relationship like friends and family. To put it more
simply
, if individuals face any problem then one can talk or take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Secondly
, achievements give hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
happily
.
In addition
to this, someone who wants to become a doctor in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and able to achieve their goal, it can bring happiness in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Also
, boost their confidence level. To recapitulate, although there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to stay happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of it which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy to survive,
yet
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways
as well
instead
of possessing finance such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends and family support.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that money makes life happy to live. How money makes life happier? Others think that money is not important for Live life happy?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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