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Task 2 writing, urbanization

Task 2 writing, urbanization O6dnM
Urbanization is defined as increase in population of people living in urban areas. There is no denying that, people in numerous countries are moving away from villages to live in urban areas, rapidly rising the rates of urbanization. The following paragraphs will discuss the reasons for this shift as well as the difficulties it can result in, before reaching a conclusion. Firstly, the most significant reason for this shift is a better quality of life in urban areas and a number of people in villages are below the poverty line. People in villages do not earn money equivalently for the work they do. For instance, despite of working for 7 to 8 hours a day even in scorching heat, a farmer earns less money when compared to a building worker or a daily labor in the cities. Besides this, lack of job opportunities, poor health care, electricity issues also contribute to this tendency. Furthermore, urban lifestyle attracts many people of villages. What are the negative effects of increasing urbanization? On one hand, overcrowding of cities is a critical problem due to this shift. In addition, a number of people can be seen struggling in cities when they do not find proper accommodation. This can also lead to increased traffic and pollution. On the other hand, as we already know that farmer is the backbone of our country, many food resources come from villages. While more and more people move to urban areas, we may not have enough farmers in the future and farming will lose its significance. To conclude, I believe that low quality of life, poor health care, lack of jobs in rural areas are the main reasons for urbanization. According to my view, this trend can cause overcrowding of cities and decreased food resources from villages in the future.
Urbanization
is defined
as increase in population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. There is no denying that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in numerous countries are moving away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
rapidly
rising the rates of urbanization. The following paragraphs will discuss the reasons for this shift
as well
as the difficulties it can result in,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a conclusion.

Firstly
, the most significant reason for this shift is a better quality of life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
are below the poverty line.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
do not earn money
equivalently
for the work they do.
For instance
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
working for 7 to 8 hours a day even in scorching heat, a farmer earns less money when compared to a building worker or a daily labor in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Besides
this, lack of job opportunities, poor health care, electricity issues
also
contribute to this tendency.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
lifestyle attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of villages.

What are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of increasing urbanization? On one hand, overcrowding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is a critical problem due to this shift.
In addition
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
struggling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
when they do not find proper accommodation. This can
also
lead to increased traffic and pollution.
On the other hand
, as we already know that farmer is the backbone of our country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
food resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. While more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, we may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
farmers in the future and farming will lose its significance.

To conclude
, I believe that low quality of life, poor health care, lack of jobs in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are the main reasons for urbanization. According to my view, this trend can cause overcrowding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and decreased food resources from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
in the future.
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IELTS essay Task 2 writing, urbanization

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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