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Task 2: Smart phones should be banned at primary school. What is your opinion?

Task 2: Smart phones should be banned at primary school. What is your opinion? q1KJ5
There is a controversial argument that smart phones should be banned at primary school. Some people think that using a smart phones will be able to distract students from learning and not useless. In my point of view, smart phones should be allowed in prinary schools. Nevertheless, I don't think that smart phones should be allowed to use in during school hours. It is very useful for pupils to have smart phone after school when walking home just in case of an emergency. The reason I think this is because most smart phone are equipped the new GPS apps on its, parents can track or kept an eyes their children as long as the child has their phone on them. Moreover, smart phone also help students communicate with their friends, teachers, and school. If some unexpected events happen in school, teacher can transfer them to their students easily. Example, It's too cold today so school have a day off. teachers can share this information to some key students, and these students will flow it to the rest. It takes only a short time to let this information out and student don't waste time and health so that cold weather they do not have to go to school just read a notification and come back home. From all things above I don't support the idea of banning use smart phones at primary school. It has a lot positive effects on children and parents. It is of utmost importance that parents should give an instruction or help their kid how to use a cell phone in the right way.
There is a controversial argument that
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smart
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phones
should
be banned
at primary
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school
.
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Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that using a
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smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
will be able to distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from learning and not useless. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in
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prinary
schools.

Nevertheless
, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in during
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school
hours. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for pupils to have
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smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
after
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school
when walking home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in case of an emergency. The reason I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
are equipped
the new GPS apps on its, parents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
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an eyes
their children as long as the child has their
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phone
on them.

Moreover
,
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smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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students
communicate with their friends, teachers, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unexpected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happen in
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school
, teacher can transfer them to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
easily
. Example, It's too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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school
have a day off.
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teachers
can share this information to
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some
key
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students
, and these
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students
will flow it to the rest. It takes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a short time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
this information out and
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student
don't waste time and health
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so
that
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cold
weather they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to
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school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
read a notification and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home.

From all things above I don't support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of banning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It has a
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lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on children and parents. It is of utmost importance that parents should give an instruction or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their kid how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in the right way.
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IELTS essay Task 2: Smart phones should be banned at primary school. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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