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some people think success of life is based on hard work and determination, but others there are more important factors like appearance and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people think success of life is based on hard work and determination, but others there are more important factors like appearance and money. q1Kdw

People have always been captivated by what makes people's achievements. While I agree that materials wealth and good-appearance are essential, I believe that dilligence and persistence are more significant. Firstly, It is can not deny that physical appearance and money play a vital role in attaining achievements. For those who were born in affluent families typically have a good foundation for their development and prosperity. For example, they effortlessly make use of their wealth inherited from their parents to start their own business and success, such as Bill Gates. On beside, physical appearance could affect to the first impressions. Especially, for people want to work in entertainment, fashion, or in beauty industries. For instance, in Korea to became a famous single, not only have a good voices, but also have attractive body and gorgeous beauty.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
People
 have always been captivated
 by what This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createsconstructsmanufacturesproduces
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
's achievements. While I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 that materials wealth and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
-appearance are essential, I believe that Possible spelling mistake found.diligence
dilligence
 and persistence are more significant.

Firstly
, It is Consider using a past participle here: "canned".canned
can
 not deny that physical appearance and money play a vital role in attaining achievements. For those who were born
 in affluent families typically
 have a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 foundation for their development and prosperity. For example
, they effortlessly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of their wealth inherited from their parents to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiate
start
 their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 business and success, such as Bill Gates. On beside, physical appearance could affect to the first
 impressions. Especially
, for This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 want to work in entertainment, fashion, or in beauty industries. For instance
, in Korea Did you mean "to become"?to become
to became
 a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:well-known
famous
 single, not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 have a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 voices, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
also
 have attractive body and gorgeous beauty. 