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Task 2: More and more people think there is no need for printed paper newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Task 2: More and more people think there is no need for printed paper newspapers. v. 1
In the world today, many individuals believe that traditional newspaper is not in need. Although digital news brings lots of benefits, I would argue that the conventional one is beneficial in some cases. There are several reasons to believe that digital news has its advantages. One major reason is that the modern one has a huge source of news. People could find out any areas of life within a second by using an internet- connected device such as a smartphone or a laptop. Another reason is that digital news is updated constantly which is not available in the traditional ones. Furthermore, this also contributes to take responsibility on environmental problems. For example, the less papers need to be used for establishing magazines or news, the less forests are damaged. This may protect the habitats of myriad of wild animal species. On the other hand, although some disadvantages, paper news also has its advantages in some ways. First, they are suitable with elderly people which have gravitated towards seeking information from traditional newspaper. They need not to learn the way to use technological equipment which seems to be difficulty for them. In addition, by reading news on paper, they would avoid the high risk of falling in preys in the internet. For instance, some online pages are set to require personal information of the people who need to access. This is not only annoying readers with unnecessary adverts but also being threatened by hackers. In conclusion, although the transformation of paper news to digital one is inevitable, I would argue that conventional newspaper has its benefits.
In the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals believe that traditional newspaper is not in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. Although digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
brings lots of benefits, I would argue that the conventional one is beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.

There are several reasons to believe that digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has its advantages. One major reason is that the modern one has a huge source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
could find out any areas of life within a second by using an internet- connected device such as a smartphone or a laptop. Another reason is that digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is updated
constantly
which is not available in the traditional ones.
Furthermore
, this
also
contributes to take responsibility on environmental problems.
For example
, the
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun papers is countable.
less
papers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for establishing magazines or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, the
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun forests is countable.
less
forests
are damaged
. This may protect the habitats of myriad of wild animal species.

On the other hand
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
also
has its advantages in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
First
, they are suitable with elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which have gravitated towards seeking information from traditional newspaper. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
not
Did you mean "learn"?
to learn
the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technological equipment which seems to be difficulty for them.
In addition
, by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on paper, they would avoid the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of falling in preys
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
online pages
are set
to require personal information of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to access. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
annoying readers with unnecessary adverts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
being threatened
by hackers.

In conclusion
, although the transformation of paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to digital one is inevitable, I would argue that conventional newspaper has its benefits.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 2: More and more people think there is no need for printed paper newspapers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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