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talking firsherman to his child to learn trade

talking firsherman to his child to learn trade BJo89
there was a fisherman and he have four child are name are rahul, kamal, suresh, ashish. one day the fisherman goes to river and come back his house and taking dinner with there child and says to them that i dont have any gift for you. you have to go outside and need to make your carrer after going and learn trade skills. and the childern said to his father that how can we go outside and laern new things when we have never gone outside before. then father said to them that this is the right time to go outside and learn trade. after listing his father advice the all four child comeout from his house and went. all four childern goes and they see a four ways road and the elder one says that we have four ways and we are also four, so every one go in one road and will meet here after four years. all four goes and learn trades. after four year they met at the same place we they desided that we go and learn trade. after meet with father and describes all the things we they faced in. then his father took all to a forest and talk to them that there is a bird who sits on tree and he have four eggs. so rahul you go there and bring all the four eggs
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
was a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fisherman and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
four
Possible agreement error. The noun 'child' seems to be countable, so consider using: "children".
child
are name are
Possible spelling mistake found.
rahul
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
kamal
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
suresh
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ashish
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
day the fisherman goes to river and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and taking dinner with
Did you mean "their"?
there
child and says to them that i
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
have any gift for you.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
after going and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
said to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
that how can we go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
laern
new things when we have never gone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
said to them that this is the right time to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
listing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
advice the all four child
Possible spelling mistake found.
comeout
from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and went.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
all
four
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
goes and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a four ways road and the elder one says that we have four
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ways and
we are
also
four,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every one go in one road and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
here after four years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
all
four goes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trades
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
four year they met at the same place we they
Possible spelling mistake found.
desided
that we go and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
all the things we they faced in. then his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
took all to a forest and talk to them that there is a bird who sits on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tree and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
four eggs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
rahul
you go there and bring all the four
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
eggs
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IELTS essay talking firsherman to his child to learn trade

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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