Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more people want to own famous brands nowadays (cars, clothes and other items). Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

More and more people want to own famous brands nowadays (cars, clothes and other items). Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development? YLnJB
It is obvious that the economy is increasingly developing, so people have spent more money to buy top-rated items. In my opinion, this trend has many negatives with two main reasons. To begin with, there are two main reasons causing this tendency such as richness and show-off. Actually, the rich usually use expensive cars and fashionable clothes due to their great wealth and one good illustration of this is about a famous footballer, namely Ronaldo. He has a lot of money, due to his high salary at around $80 million each year so he bought some mansions in London, Madrid, and many supercars. Secondly, it is because of some people's interest in the show-off. They are not rich but they have spent too much money on luxurious items and sometimes it is unnecessary for them. In fact, most people enjoy the up-market things with high quality which may them more beautiful. It is positive but it is just true for the rich, not for low-income usual people. If a customer really wants good equipment they must pay lots of money for their bills and with such amount of money, people can do more meaningful jobs or buy another item which is more necessary. A particular good exam example here is my neighborhood, he would not buy an expensive car, he had spent money in investing in the restaurant and made money from this, and in my opinion, it is a good choice. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the negative factors overweigh the positive ones, and people should work harder to earn much more money to buy luxurious goods.
It is obvious that the economy is
increasingly
developing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
top-rated items. In my opinion, this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
negatives with two main reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two main reasons causing this tendency such as richness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-off. Actually, the rich
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
expensive cars and fashionable clothes due to their great wealth and one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
illustration of this is about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
footballer,
namely
Ronaldo. He has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, due to his high salary at around $80 million each year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mansions in London, Madrid, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
supercars.
Secondly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interest in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-off. They are not rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have spent too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on luxurious items and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is unnecessary for them.

In fact, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the up-market things with high quality which may them more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
true for the rich, not for low-income usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If a customer
really
wants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
equipment they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their bills and with such amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do more meaningful jobs or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
another item which is more necessary. A particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
exam example here is my neighborhood, he would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
an expensive car, he had spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in investing in the restaurant and made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from this, and in my opinion, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
choice.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
factors
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ones, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should work harder to earn much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay More and more people want to own famous brands nowadays (cars, clothes and other items). Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Research center based on business or agriculture
    Both research centers based on business and agriculture would be immense benefit to my country, but I would extend my support to the research center designated specifically to agriculture sector. The major reasons for recommending center based on agriculture is because India depends on agriculture ...
  • 5.5band
    Movie story I enjoyed and why?
    There are a lot of movies I enjoy but one movie story which stood out to me was "Pursuit of happiness". It was a movie whoch I saw during my school days but even after a decade I can remember the story and the characters as it had a huge impact on me. The best part about the story was the character...
  • 5.5band
    My opinion about the page 72
    I think advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. I have five reasons for support my opinion. First, it is my personal thing, when I watch the advertise about products I want to the product very much. Second, while I am using the internet especially yahoo I find many it. In...
  • 6band
    The picture gives information about how electricity is produced in a nuclear power station.
    The picture gives information about how electricity is produced in a nuclear power station. Overview, it is clear that, there are 11 steps to produce electricity in nuclear power station such as containment building, steam (generators also pipes), uranium fuel, turbine, generator, transformer, cool...
  • 6band
    Advertising tactics to sell
    I am mainly former. But I also understand the latter opinion. The reason I agree so much with the first suggestion is that advertising is unknowingly seen by us. Most people have memorized songs, phrase, and catchphrases that they often hear in commercials. The store name, product name, phone number...
  • 6.5band
    n the future more and more shopping will be done from home rather than going to shops themselves. Some people believe that as a result people will become more isolated from each other.
    Things are going to change in the future, as people will prefer to do them shopping online instead of going to shops. In this task we are going to discuss both points of view and give my opinion. Firstly, People are going to be more lazy and that will impact their health. The population will become...