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Talk about shopping mall in your hometown

Talk about shopping mall in your hometown gGnRA
Big C is known as the largest shopping mall in Binh Dinh Province, attracting a huge number of consumers daily. This mall is divided into three distinct floors and an enormous basement of the parking. On the first floor, there is an array of fashionable shops and stalls like beauty shops, shoes stores, clothes stores, watch shops, or even coffee shops. In addition, there is a Fahasa book that sells school supplies, toys, and other items. Moreover, there are also well-known food shops like Lotteria, Jollibee and this center has a playground for children between the ages of 3 and 10. Above this amusement is the biggest shop on this floor, the E-store, which sale of electronic goods such as telephones, laptops, televisions, and other items. There are 2 ways you can move from floor to floor, using an escalator or elevator. Going to the second floor, it’s nothing too special. It just has some stalls and kiosks selling cheap products. The most striking factor on this floor is the gaming area for everyone but mainly youngsters. You must buy coins to participate in this game. Near the gaming area is the other amusement for children. On the last floor, this is probably the most populated place with cinemas and a supermarket. Almost essential things are in this supermarket comprising personal items, food, spices, household items, so on. And on every occasion, it takes lots of time to pay your order because of the large number of customers. Besides, the cinema named CGV has the same situation; because this cinema is the highest quality, sometimes you must wait a long time to buy tickets or even buy online because it may run out of tickets. That’s what I know about this shopping mall.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
C
is known
as the largest shopping mall in
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Binh
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Dinh
Province, attracting a huge number of consumers daily. This mall
is divided
into three distinct
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floors
and an enormous basement of the parking.

On the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floor
, there is an array of fashionable
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shops
and stalls like beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, shoes stores, clothes stores,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
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shops
, or even coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
In addition
, there is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fahasa
book that sells school supplies, toys, and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
Moreover
, there are
also
well-known food
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shops
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lotteria
,
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Jollibee
and this center has a playground for children between the ages of 3 and 10. Above this amusement is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
on this
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floor
, the E-store, which sale of electronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
such as telephones, laptops, televisions, and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. There are 2 ways you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
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floor
to
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floor
, using an escalator or elevator.

Going to the second
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floor
, it’s nothing too special. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stalls and kiosks selling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
products. The most striking factor on this
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floor
is the gaming area for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mainly
youngsters. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
coins to participate in this game. Near the gaming area is the other amusement for children.

On the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floor
, this is
probably
the most populated place with cinemas and a supermarket. Almost essential things are in this supermarket comprising personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, food, spices, household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And on every occasion, it takes lots of time to pay your order
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the large number of customers.
Besides
, the cinema named
Possible spelling mistake found.
CGV
has the same situation;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this cinema is the highest quality,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
wait a long time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
tickets or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may run out of tickets.

That’s what I know about this shopping mall.
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IELTS essay Talk about shopping mall in your hometown

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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