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Talk about one of your ambition in life. Please way: What is it? When did it become your ambition? How will you achieve it?

Talk about one of your ambition in life. Please way: What is it? When did it become your ambition? How will you achieve it? PLLw2
Well, I personally find this topic interesting. Many young people in Vietnam, if asked, would either have a hard time thinking about what they would want to achieve in their life, or say that they don’t have an ambition whatsoever. But I do have one, which is to become a world traveler. I want to set foot in every corner of the world to discover exotic cultures and gain a deeper insight into humanity. Travelling has always been my biggest passion ever since I had my first trip outside of my city about ten years ago when I decided to make a trip to a mountain with a group of friends. I still remember being blown away by the whole experience. The more I travel, the more determined I am to make it my life-long mission. In order for this to happen, there are a lot of things I should take care of. My major concern is, if I plan to spent most time moving from one place to another, it will be unlikely for me to have a normal job while travelling is not cheap at all. That’s why at the moment, I’m trying to focus on my teaching job to save up for the trips.
Well, I
personally
find this topic interesting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Vietnam, if asked, would either have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time thinking about what they would want to achieve in their life, or say that they don’t have an ambition whatsoever.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I do have one, which is to become a world traveler. I want to set foot in every corner of the world to discover exotic cultures and gain a deeper insight into humanity.

Travelling has always been my biggest passion ever since I had my
first
trip
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
my city about ten years ago when I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a trip to a mountain with a group of friends. I
still
remember
being blown
away by the whole experience. The more I travel, the more determined I am to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it my life-long mission.

In order for this to happen, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things I should take care of. My major concern is, if I plan to spent most time moving from one place to another, it will be unlikely for me to have a normal job while travelling is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
at all. That’s why at the moment, I’m trying to focus on my teaching job to save up for the trips.
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IELTS essay Talk about one of your ambition in life. Please way: What is it? When did it become your ambition? How will you achieve it?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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