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HCMC requires speedy vaccination for industrial workers

HCMC requires speedy vaccination for industrial workers 966Np
HCMC authorities are preparing to speed up vaccination for nearly 128, 000 workers at industrial parks so they could return to work after economic activity resumes. Of these, nearly 46, 000 workers have not yet received the first dose while nearly 83, 000 are awaiting their second. The Management Board of Industrial - Export Processing Zones of Ho Chi Minh City (Hepza) will coordinate with the city’s Department of Health and related agencies to vaccinate all these workers from Oct. 5 to 15. Among 128, 000 workers who need to be vaccinated from next week, over 31, 000 had earlier returned to their hometowns, mainly in neighboring provinces like Binh Duong, Dong Nai and Long An. Therefore, HCMC Export Processing Zone and Industrial Park Authority Business Association (HBA) proposed city authorities and those in neighboring provinces to create favorable conditions for these workers to travel to vaccination sites in HCMC or bordering areas. To be eligible for a return to work, factory staff need to get one dose of a Covid vaccine at least 14 days before, or have contracted and recovered from the disease. Previously, most workers in HCMC received their first dose at their factories. However, since the city imposed strict lockdown measures amid the complicated development of the pandemic, after July 15, many businesses that failed to ensure pandemic prevention measures had to temporarily shut down. Therefore, many workers returned to their hometowns and faced difficulties in accessing Covid vaccines. Seventeen export processing zones and industrial parks in HCMC have a total of 288, 000 employees, with nearly 1, 500 factories still operating. Currently, 242, 000 people have received one vaccine shot while over 204, 000 have been fully vaccinated.
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HCMC
authorities are preparing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
vaccination for
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nearly
128, 000
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workers
at
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industrial
parks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could return to work after economic activity resumes.

Of these,
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nearly
46, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
have not
yet
received the
first
dose while
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nearly
83, 000 are awaiting their second.

The Management Board of
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Industrial
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Export Processing Zones of Ho Chi Minh City (
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Hepza
) will coordinate with the city’s Department of Health and related agencies to vaccinate all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
from Oct. 5 to 15.

Among 128, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
who need to
be vaccinated
from
next
week, over 31, 000 had earlier returned to their hometowns,
mainly
in neighboring provinces like
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Binh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Duong
, Dong
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Nai
and Long
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An.


Therefore
,
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HCMC
Export Processing Zone and
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Industrial
Park Authority Business Association (HBA) proposed city authorities and those in neighboring provinces to create favorable conditions for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to travel to vaccination sites in
Possible spelling mistake found.
HCMC
or bordering areas.

To be eligible for a return to work, factory staff need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one dose of a
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
vaccine at least 14 days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, or have contracted and recovered from the disease.

Previously, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
HCMC
received their
first
dose at their factories.
However
, since the city imposed strict lockdown measures amid the complicated development of the pandemic, after July 15,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
businesses that failed to ensure pandemic prevention measures had to
temporarily
shut down.

Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
returned to their hometowns and faced difficulties in accessing
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
vaccines.

Seventeen export processing zones and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
parks in
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HCMC
have a total of 288, 000 employees, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearly
1, 500 factories
still
operating.
Currently
, 242, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have received one vaccine shot while over 204, 000 have been
fully
vaccinated.
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IELTS essay HCMC requires speedy vaccination for industrial workers

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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