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museums should display part of their own country

museums should display part of their own country GLyox
At the present time, most museums prefer to keep the art of their own country. However, the leading countries try to present craft and culture from all over the world. It is believed that these galleries are built for a purpose. In other words, it preserves the pictures of historical moments and important events. My opinions are more inclined towards the argument of showing artwork of other countries as well. Firstly, this idea holds value in terms of economic growth. To begin with museums are the places where we could see all kinds of historical elements. Not only museums could help people with history, but also art galleries have been playing a significant role in this era. We can see that with help of art galleries and museums many people come to know about the things from the past. According to one group of study, a greater number of travellers from various countries increased from the past decade to see the craft exhibitions. Thus, the local government has been earning money through taxes from the travel industry and tourist sites. For instance, Salar Jung museum in Hyderabad shows the history of local hero`s such as their paintings, the war items used the clothes they were etc. which gained more number of visitors to that particular place. However, museums and art galleries do not have any boundary limits. Which can represent only the cultures of the ancient humans and working life irrespective of national feeling. I strongly believe that museums and art galleries should not be divided by the national or international concept. It should be represented both the foreign and local cultures to the public. In conclusion, having arts from the different countries and local places in the museums and art galleries. Which is a useful subject to the public and school children.
At the present time, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, the leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
try to present craft and culture from all over the world. It
is believed
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
are built
for a purpose.
In other words
, it preserves the pictures of historical moments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. My opinions are more inclined towards the argument of showing artwork of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as well
.

Firstly
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
holds value in terms of economic growth. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are the places where we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all kinds of historical elements. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with history,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
have been playing a significant role in this era. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the things from the past. According to one group of study, a greater number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
increased from the past decade to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the craft exhibitions.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has been earning money through taxes from the travel industry and tourist sites.

For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Salar
Jung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in Hyderabad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
The character between 'hero' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "hero’s" (curly apostrophe) or "hero's" (straight apostrophe).
hero`s
such as their paintings, the war items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the clothes they were etc. which gained more number of visitors to that particular place.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
do not have any boundary limits. Which can represent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the cultures of the ancient humans and working life irrespective of national feeling. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
should not
be divided
by the national or international concept. It should
be represented
both the foreign and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultures to the public.

In conclusion
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
places in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
. Which is a useful subject to the public and school children.
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IELTS essay museums should display part of their own country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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