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talk about business it is a better way to earn money agree or disagree

talk about business it is a better way to earn money agree or disagree GW2DB
the given pie chart is statistical information of propotion of students in six different courses in mc of canada. firstly the 35 of students were more interested in businessin the year 2005 and 1% less intrested in the year of 2015. in the year of 2005 30% students were choose civil course but after 10 years the interest of student in civil course were 20% downward. mehanical course were choose by 15% of student in 2005 on the other hand 26 of student were choose that same course in 2015 to sum up it reveals that civil and business course wasvfvt rse of the student
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the
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given
pie chart is statistical information of
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propotion
of
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students
in six
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different
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courses
in
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mc
of
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canada
.

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firstly
the 35 of
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students
were more interested in
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businessin
the
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year
2005 and 1% less
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intrested
in the
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year
of 2015.

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in
the
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year
of 2005 30%
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students
were
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choose
civil
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course
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but
after 10 years the interest of
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student
in civil
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course
were 20% downward.

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mehanical
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course
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were
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choose
by 15% of
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student
in 2005
on the other hand
26 of
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student
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were
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choose
that same
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course
in 2015

to sum up it reveals that civil and business
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course
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wasvfvt
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rse
of the
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student
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IELTS essay talk about business it is a better way to earn money agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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