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Talk about a wooden product you have purchased recently that you are not satisfied with

Talk about a wooden product you have purchased recently that you are not satisfied with q1gdE
Well, I love shopping. I go shopping once a month with my mother but I am not a shop-holic person. I have purchased a plethora of commodities during my whole life. At times, I go to the supermarket in my hometown for window shopping. And here I would like to talk about a product which I bought about six months ago but I am not satisfied with it. It was a computer. I explain it briefly. Approximately six months ago, I had bought a second-hand computer from my friend Preet. She had purchased a laptop and she wanted to sell it. So, I bought it at a cheap rate. But she did not tell me the whole truth about the computer. This computer was from “Zebronics company”. I had bought them to make presentations, do office work, and do projects. But when I used it for a week, then I felt dissatisfied. There are some reasons for it. Firstly, I had an old computer with the old version of the operating system. It was not looking good because its structure was very old. Secondly, The computer’s processor was very slow and it had a little scratch on its screen. No one uses it at present. Also, Its color was white which easily caught dust. It always looked dingyMoreover, its internal memory is very small and I just keep a limited amount of data in it. I have been working in a Web Design company named “The Creative Minds”. So, I have to store a lot of data on my computer but I could not do so. Due to this reason, I have purchased a laptop for my convenience. All in all, at present, I use my laptop to do my work. So, I had bought a computer that was dissatisfied me.
Well, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
shopping. I go shopping once a month with my mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am not a
Possible spelling mistake found.
shop-holic
person. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a plethora of commodities during my whole life. At times, I go to the supermarket in my hometown for window shopping. And here I would like to talk about a product which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
about six months ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am not satisfied with it. It was a computer. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it
briefly
.

Approximately six months ago, I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a second-hand computer from my friend
Possible spelling mistake found.
Preet
. She had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
laptop and
she wanted to sell it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
she did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me the whole truth about the computer. This computer was from “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zebronics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
”. I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
presentations, do office work, and do projects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it for a week, then I felt dissatisfied. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for it.

Firstly
, I had an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
computer with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
version of the operating system. It was not looking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its structure was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Secondly
, The computer’s processor was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slow and it had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
scratch on its screen. No one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
it at present.
Also
, Its color was white which
easily
caught dust. It always looked
Possible spelling mistake found.
dingyMoreover
, its internal memory is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a limited amount of data in it. I have been working in a Web Design
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
named “The Creative Minds”.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
data on my computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I could not do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Due to this reason, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a laptop for my convenience.

All in all, at present, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my laptop to do my work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a computer that
was dissatisfied
me.
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IELTS essay Talk about a wooden product you have purchased recently that you are not satisfied with

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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