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People think do unpaid work is good for teenagers. Are you agree or disagree?why?

People think do unpaid work is good for teenagers. Are you agree or disagree? why? nxBQo
Several people believe that teenagers should work with no pay in their leisure time. In my opinion, working for free can be useful for youth. Teenagers are young enough to do not to know what is going on in society. Therefore, they should walk among the people and see the world in a different attitude. Then prepare themselves for a time that must live and act like an adult. Furthermore, they can learn responsibility. Young people do have not enough experience and they lean on their parents' shoulders, so some duties can be essential for them to make them more independent. Independence is extremely important for youth and even can determine their future. It lets them improve their decision and also increase their self-confidence. So it can help them to bloom their talents easier and show themselves to the world. Another reason that makes free work more important in the teenagers' life, is using time in the best way. People in this age have more free time that should be used for learning something or gaining more experiences. They have less concern to think about it, so doing unpaid work is considered one of the great things that teenagers can do to not waste their valuable time. In conclusion, free work has considerable benefits that teenagers should notice. They ought to do that to know the world better and reduce their expectations from society, rose their confidence and use their time for investigation on themselves to make a colorful future.
Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with no pay in their leisure

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
time
. In my opinion, working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
can be useful for youth.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
are young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to do not to know what is going on in society.

Therefore
, they should walk among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitude. Then prepare themselves for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and act like an adult.

Furthermore
, they can learn responsibility. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they lean on their parents' shoulders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
duties can be essential for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more independent. Independence is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for youth and even can determine their future. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their decision and
also
increase their self-confidence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to bloom their talents easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
themselves to the world.

Another reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
' life, is using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the best way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in this age have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for learning something or gaining more experiences. They have less concern
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
think
about it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
doing unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is considered
one of the great things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can do to not waste their valuable time.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has considerable benefits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should notice. They ought to do that to know the world better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their expectations from society, rose their confidence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for investigation on themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a colorful future.
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IELTS essay People think do unpaid work is good for teenagers. Are you agree or disagree? why?

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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