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Many people are suffering from severe malnutrition. What could be done to improve the lives of poor people

Many people are suffering from severe malnutrition. What could be done to improve the lives of poor people gqE23
In most undeveloped countries' people live in a poverty trap. It can be caused by suffering from malnourishment, actual hunger. Long-term hunger can lead to a lot of illnesses, like blindness, anemia, and other deadly diseases. In this essay, I will be talking about problems in undeveloped countries' people who suffer from severe malnutrition and how to tackle starvation. An American humanitarian Dr. Norman Barlang once said, "You cannot build a peaceful world on an empty stomach and human misery". For every child and person everywhere, food is a life - a fundamental right and foundation of healthy nutrition and sound physical and mental development. It is very difficult to escape the poverty trap. In many poor and barely developed countries, hunger is an obsession. The growth of malnourished people is going on unceasingly, overpopulation is not a problem, is based on the countries economics. Many countries are in huge debt, leaving them with very little money to help improve their living conditions and solve their hunger problems. Canceling the world debt is one solution that can provide these countries with the ability to start from scratch. Furthermore, delivering nourishment weekly basis until overcoming starvation, will be one of the best aid to them. On the other hand, children are suffering from malnutrition, having a weakened immune system is more vulnerable to infection. Even a huge number of children die daily as a result of food shortages who live in developing countries. Food security is one of the largest problems facing our world today. To be "food secure" a country must have enough food to feed its population and be capable of feeding its growing population in the future. Agricultural development is critically important to improving food security and nutrition. The more efficient agriculture is the more food produced. The more food that is produced the lower food prices is for the world's people. Cheap food is synonymous with food security. It would be a good idea if people were educated in the agricultural system who live in poor conditions so as to overcome malnutrition. To sum up, malnutrition is a big problem, that people have to face who live in underdeveloped countries, because of its economic system, lack of food reserve. An alternative way to overcome this issue would be supporting such kinds of countries, most developed countries might cancel their debts, and send humanitarian aid as much as possible. In addition, a poor economic system has a huge impact on their education, as a consequence, they cannot find a way to outcome food shortages. So as to aid them in this field, educating people especially in the agriculture field, they learn how to cultivate sustenance nutrition to achieve food security on their own, will be one possible way to eradicate the problem.
In most undeveloped countries'
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a poverty trap. It can
be caused
by suffering from malnourishment, actual
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hunger
. Long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
illnesses, like blindness, anemia, and other deadly diseases. In this essay, I will be talking about
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problems
in undeveloped countries'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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who
suffer from severe malnutrition and how to tackle starvation.

An American humanitarian Dr. Norman
Possible spelling mistake found.
Barlang
once said,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
You cannot build a peaceful world on an empty stomach and human misery
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. For every child and person everywhere,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a life
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a fundamental right and foundation of healthy nutrition and sound physical and mental development. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to escape the poverty trap. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor and
barely
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
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hunger
is an obsession. The growth of malnourished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is going on
unceasingly
, overpopulation is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
is based
on the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
economics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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countries
are in huge debt, leaving them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living conditions and solve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Canceling the world debt is one solution that can provide these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from scratch.
Furthermore
, delivering nourishment weekly basis until overcoming starvation, will be one of the best aid to them.

On the other hand
, children are suffering from malnutrition, having a weakened immune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is more vulnerable to infection. Even a huge number of children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
daily
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shortages
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in developing
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countries
.
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Food
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security
is one of the largest
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problems
facing our world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. To be
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
food secure
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
a
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country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
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food
to feed its population and be capable of feeding its growing population in the future. Agricultural development is
critically
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important
to improving
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food
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security
and nutrition. The more efficient agriculture is the more
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food
produced. The more
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food
that
is produced
the lower
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food
prices is for the world's
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people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Cheap
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food
is synonymous with
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food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
. It would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
if
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people
were educated
in the agricultural
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system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in poor conditions
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
overcome malnutrition.

To sum up, malnutrition is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
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problem
, that
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
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who
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live
in underdeveloped
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countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
reserve. An alternative way to overcome this issue would be supporting such kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
might cancel their debts, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
humanitarian aid as much as possible.
In addition
, a poor economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has a huge impact on their education, as a consequence, they cannot find a way to outcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shortages.
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
So as to
aid them in this field, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
in the agriculture field, they learn how to cultivate sustenance nutrition to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, will be one possible way to eradicate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
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IELTS essay Many people are suffering from severe malnutrition. What could be done to improve the lives of poor people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
464 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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