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Talk about a time when you gave advice to someone

Here I would like to talk about a time when I gave advice to my sister. 3 years ago when her graduation had completed my parents want my sister to get married soon because my maternal and brought a in an influential and wonderful marriage proposal for her but she had not ready for it and she also said to me that she had a different Future Plans because she had to go abroad for their higher education and she came to me and sad please convince her parents to say no that proposal I give advice to her that you should go to parents and talk to them calmly and tell everything because my parents must comprehend you after that she went and told everything to my parents my but my parents are really disappointing with her and don't like her decision but I took entire side of my sister and she is started crying in front of them but my mother's heart was sinking and she said they will think about it after that I told to my parents that nowadays education is really important and and she is is her life we cant control on her dreams finally my parents say no to that proposal I felt really elated because my sister now is in abroad and thriving in her life
Here I would like to talk about a time when I gave advice to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
. 3 years ago when her graduation had completed my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my maternal and brought
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
in an influential and wonderful marriage proposal for her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she had not ready for
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
she
also
said to me that she had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Future Plans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she had to go abroad for their higher
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
she came to me and sad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
convince her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to say no that proposal I give advice to her that you should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and talk to them
calmly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
comprehend you after that she went and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
everything to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
really
disappointing with her and don't like her decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I took entire side of my
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sister and
she is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
crying in front of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my mother's heart was
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sinking and
she said they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it after that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that nowadays education is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
she
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
her life we
Did you mean “can’t” or “cannot”?
cant
control on her dreams
finally
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
say no to that proposal I felt
really
elated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is in abroad and thriving in her life

IELTS essay Talk about a time when you gave advice to someone

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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