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Talk about a special gift you once gave someone. Describe the gift and explain why it was special. v.1

Talk about a special gift you once gave someone. Describe the gift and explain why it was special. v. 1
In Europe, there were few countries where kids receive real time skills by attending to schools around an age of 11 or 13 in order to help them in getting a new job. However, other's opt for schooling with routine academic education. Schools must certainly follow proper path in this regard. In this essay I will discuss the necessary steps that are needed to be initiated by the schools in order to make the brighter students, in terms of educational and cognitive skills. I will also provide the reasons for the same. Also, I will include realistic instances from my own life. Firstly, all the rudimentary subjects which enhance the cognitive skills and motor skills, should be incorporated as a part of child's class. Certainly preference should be given to such type of subjects, regardless of the age, because these skills are very crucial for the growth of a child in terms of knowledge. Recent times, few schools in Toronto like Montessori and Bhashyam had shown an impressive term results for their students. Furthermore, schools should also hire talented tutor's to teach their children. In my view, such type of teacher's not only educate children, but also nurture the kids with practical awareness. For instance, Adam's school in Canada stood in first place for the last 3 year's and the secret behind its success is their power packed training staff. To conclude, I definitely feel schooling must include fundamental subjects as a part of routine studies and also incorporate sophisticated mentors too.
In Europe, there were few countries where kids receive real time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by attending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
around an age of 11 or 13 in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in getting a new job.
However
,
Consider using the plural form here: "others".
other's
opt for schooling with routine academic education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
certainly
follow proper path in this regard. In this essay I will discuss the necessary steps that
are needed
to
be initiated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the brighter students, in terms of educational and cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. I will
also
provide the reasons for the same.
Also
, I will include realistic instances from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.

Firstly
, all the rudimentary subjects which enhance the cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, should
be incorporated
as a part of child's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Certainly
preference should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to such type of subjects, regardless of the age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for the growth of a child in terms of knowledge.

Recent times, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in Toronto like Montessori and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhashyam
had shown an impressive term results for their students.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
also
hire talented tutor's to teach their children. In my view, such type of teacher's not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educate children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
nurture the kids with practical awareness.
For instance
, Adam's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Canada stood in
first
place for the last 3 year's and the secret behind its success is their power packed training staff.

To conclude
, I definitely feel schooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
include fundamental subjects as a part of routine studies and
also
incorporate sophisticated mentors too.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about a special gift you once gave someone. Describe the gift and explain why it was special. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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