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talk about a game, sport or other group activity which is played in your country. Explain why you think the activity is enjoyable. v.1

talk about a game, sport or other group activity which is played in your country. Explain why you think the activity is enjoyable. v. 1
It has been argued by many that the attitudes of the educational institutions are getting worse with every passing day. There are multiple factors for this, like the lack of trained staff and the poor management policies, which ultimately affect the studies of the pupils and create undue pressures on the parents. This problem can be addressed by employing trained teachers and developing policies for the training of teachers as well as managers. On the one hand, the behaviour of mentors in school has declined and has become a sore issue these days. Many studies have been conducted to find out the causes for this and have revealed that the most important factors include the substandard training and the ill planning. Once the lecturers don't know their job and the head of institutions make bizarre rules, then there will be chaos everywhere. This will, ultimately, has a deep impact on the progress of the students and make the guardians agitated as well. Moreover, the society will lead towards unrest and tense atmosphere will prevail all around. For example, according to a report published in the UK journal of social sciences, has revealed that the moral values of the public are affected and the schools are leading contributors. On the other hand, the government should identify the issues pertaining to the social behaviour and devise ways to rectify it. Firstly, the criteria for recruitment of the teaching faculty must be laid down. Secondly, the head of colleges must have attained a proper degree in the field of education. Furthermore, the laws pertaining to the training must be changed and followed in true letter and spirit. All these steps will improve the performance as well as the reputation of the organisation. For instance, Finland is the first country to identify this issue and took steps to rectify it. To conclude, I believe that in order to improve behaviour issues, a close interaction between the parents, professors and the state officials is must for a better outcome of future generations.
It has
been argued
by
many
that the attitudes of the educational institutions are getting worse with every passing day. There are multiple factors for this, like the lack of trained staff and the poor management policies, which
ultimately
affect the studies of the pupils and create undue pressures on the parents. This problem can
be addressed
by employing trained teachers and developing policies for the training of teachers
as well
as managers.

On the one hand, the
behaviour
of mentors in school has declined and has become a sore
issue
these days.
Many
studies have
been conducted
to find out the causes for this and have revealed that the most
important
factors include the substandard training and the ill planning. Once the lecturers don't know their job and the head of institutions
make
bizarre
rules
, then there will be chaos everywhere. This will,
ultimately
, has a deep impact on the progress of the students and
make
the guardians agitated
as well
.
Moreover
, the society will lead towards unrest and tense atmosphere will prevail all around.
For example
, according to a report published in the UK journal of social sciences, has revealed that the moral values of the public are
affected
and the schools are leading contributors.

On the other hand
, the
government
should identify the
issues
pertaining to the social
behaviour
and devise ways to rectify it.
Firstly
, the criteria for recruitment of the teaching faculty
must
be laid
down.
Secondly
, the head of colleges
must
have attained a proper degree in the field of education.
Furthermore
, the laws pertaining to the training
must
be
changed
and followed in true letter and spirit. All these steps will
improve
the performance
as well
as the reputation of the
organisation
.
For instance
, Finland is the
first
country to identify this
issue
and took steps to rectify it.

To conclude
, I believe that in order to
improve
behaviour
issues
, a close interaction between the parents, professors and the state officials is
must
for a better outcome of future generations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay talk about a game, sport or other group activity which is played in your country. Explain why you think the activity is enjoyable. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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