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Some people like to get married and start a family while they are still young (under 30 years of age). Others prefer to wait until they are older to start their own family. Which do/would you prefer? v.1

Some people like to get married and start a family while they are still young (under 30 years of age). Others prefer to wait until they are older to start their own family. Which do/would you prefer? v. 1
Present day schools are facing the always rising Disciplinary issues. According to some people parents are responsible for inculcating the value of discipline in their children; others insist that it is the role of teachers. I agree with the former view. Different schools have different subjects depending on their child’s age and each subject is taught by a specific teacher. It is highly unlikely that each teacher teaches the same standards of discipline for all pupils across all grades. Each child is different and have to be moulded depending on the child’s behaviour. To illustrate further, the school near has 40 students in class. The teacher often finds it difficult to control the class and teach the lesson within the allotted time. The teacher is more concerned about explaining the lesson and completing the course and gives less attention to those who misbehave in their class. On the contrary, parents observe their kids very closely since their birth. They tend to spend a lot of time with their children during their free time at home. Since they interact more with their child, they have an opportunity to teach them discipline and mend their behaviour. Children often try to imitate their parents and learn behaviour skills. For example, my son wakes up early in the morning and gets ready for schools as we all get ready for our offices. To conclude this essay, teachers in the modern era find it extremely’ difficult to discipline all the children and mend their ways within the allotted time. It is the responsibility of parents to discipline their child and show them what is right and wrong.
Present day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are facing the always rising Disciplinary issues. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible for inculcating the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
; others insist that it is the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former view.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects depending on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
age and each subject
is taught
by a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. It is
highly
unlikely that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
teaches the same standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
for all pupils across all grades. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. To illustrate
further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
near has 40 students in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
finds it difficult to control the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and teach the lesson within the allotted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is more concerned about explaining the lesson and completing the course and gives less attention to those who misbehave in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
observe their kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
closely
since their birth. They tend to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home. Since they interact more with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, they have an opportunity to teach them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
and mend their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to imitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and learn
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, my son wakes up early in the morning and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
ready for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for our offices.

To conclude
this essay,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the modern era find it
extremely
’ difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and mend their ways within the allotted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discipline
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to get married and start a family while they are still young (under 30 years of age). Others prefer to wait until they are older to start their own family. Which do/would you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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