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Talk about a funny incident that happened to you

Talk about a funny incident that happened to you Yd0Mn
I’m going to talk about a funny but also embarrassed thing that I met about month ago. On the weekend, my girlfriend and I went out to visit one of the most famous night markets around my town. Due to the holiday, that place was quite cramped and almost a capacity crowd. When my girlfriend and I were hand in hand and hardly pushing our way through the crowd to find some delicious snacks, one person held me suddenly. Despite the fact that the feeling of touching that hand was not as smooth as my queen’s, I could still clearly feel that it was a girl’s hand. As a result, it was a really shock that I quickly released it and apologized to her though it was not me to hold her voluntarily. Then, I took my girlfriend aside to tell to her “the accident” and we all laughed like a drain for a while. All in all, the reason why I think the chance is the most funny is that it’s nearly impossible to hold another girl’s hand while your girlfriend is beside you.
I’m going to talk about a
funny
but
also
embarrassed thing that I met about month ago.

On the weekend, my
girlfriend
and I went out to visit one of the most
famous
night markets around my town. Due to the holiday, that place was quite cramped and almost a capacity crowd.

When my
girlfriend
and I were
hand
in
hand
and hardly pushing our way through the crowd to find
some
delicious snacks, one person held me
suddenly
. Despite the fact that the feeling of touching that
hand
was not as smooth as my queen’s, I could
still
clearly
feel that it was a girl’s
hand
.
As a result
, it was a
really
shock that I
quickly
released it and apologized to her though it was not me to hold her
voluntarily
. Then, I took my
girlfriend
aside to
tell
to her
“the accident” and we all laughed like a drain for a while.

All in all, the reason why I
think
the chance is the most
funny
is that it’s
nearly
impossible to hold another girl’s
hand
while your
girlfriend
is beside you.
What do you think?
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IELTS essay Talk about a funny incident that happened to you

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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