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Talent or training for a musician or athlete

Talent or training for a musician or athlete pLMey
Good musicians and athletes are born with some innate talent, this is believed by some people. Also there are some claims that any fine sportsman or fine musician can be trained to be one. I believe that training takes much bigger role for a ace musician or a good athelete. This essay will dicsuus both point of with my opinion and possible reasons. To become a great musician or a athlete, I do not believe that one should born with particular talents. People are born with diffferent ration of brain skills like analytical, emotional and motor etc. , It helps the person to expidite the progress but untill the art or skill is not been practised, there will be no such measureable imrovement. For instance, research shown that person with “perfect pitch” in fact are not born with it. It gradually thrives under extensive listening to complex music. By training the person from thier childhood, they can be good in sports or music. Brain devlopment such as motor skills, muscle memory and other plays a role in learning skills required to be an athlete or a musician. In addition, for many sports and music instruments the physical stength and skill is mandatory. For example, Virat Kohli was a fine cricketer already but after changes in lifestyle by enhancing physical stenght & mental training, he is sitting on the top spot in cricket. To summerize, innate talents is not the reson behind every great musician or great sportman but the training of body and brain any born child can be transformed into a musician or an athlete.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are born
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
innate talent, this
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claims that any fine sportsman or fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
can
be trained
to be one. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
takes much bigger role for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
athelete
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicsuus
both point of with my opinion and possible reasons.

To become a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
or
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
, I do not believe that one should
Did you mean "have born" or "bear"?
born
with particular talents.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are born
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffferent
ration of brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like analytical, emotional and motor etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the person to
Possible spelling mistake found.
expidite
the progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
the art or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is not been
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
, there will be no such
Possible spelling mistake found.
measureable
Possible spelling mistake found.
imrovement
.
For instance
, research shown that person with “perfect pitch” in fact are not born with it. It
gradually
thrives under extensive listening to complex music.

By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
the person from
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
childhood, they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in sports or music. Brain
Possible spelling mistake found.
devlopment
such as motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, muscle memory and other plays a role in learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
required to be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
.
In addition
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sports and music instruments the physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
stength
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is mandatory.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kohli
was a fine cricketer already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in lifestyle by enhancing physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
stenght
& mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, he is sitting on the top spot in cricket.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
summerize
, innate talents is not the
Possible spelling mistake found.
reson
behind every great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
or great
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportman
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
of body and brain any born child can
be transformed
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
or an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
.
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IELTS essay Talent or training for a musician or athlete

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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