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Taking other classes after school was very popular in a lot of counties

Taking other classes after school was very popular in a lot of counties LbeGR
Taking other classes after school was very popular in a lot of counties but I think that non-academic activities are also important. I will discuss both views in the essay below To begin, I will talk about the advantages of taking classes after school that is the students can extend their knowledge. I know that many parents force their son to study at the extra class. That is very good for the weak students or some students have problem with their health and they have to leave school for a long time. The extra class will contain knowledge which they have not known before. Some subject like language is very important for everyone so I think that the parents should allow the chill to study. Secondly taking class after school is a good idea when the parents who cannot have enough time to take care to their kids so their will left the children’s to the extra class so they can manage the children. In contrast, taking too much time the study will be bad for the students. They will have less time to do extracurricular activities or learn about physical education and life skill. That is also very important because when the children do not have the life skill or have not learned about physical education it will be very difficult for them. When the students do the extracurricular activities they can also relax after the stressful class time. They can do learn taekwondo or sport or join school clubs also find for their hobbies. To sum up the student and also their parent should consider between the non-academic activities and extra class
Taking other
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classes
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was
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very
popular in
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a lot of
counties
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but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that non-academic
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activities
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. I will discuss both views in the essay below

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, I will talk about the advantages of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can extend their knowledge. I know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
force their son to study at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the weak
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students
or
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have problem with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they
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have to
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leave
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school
for a long
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time
. The
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extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will contain knowledge which they have not known
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before
.
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Some
Did you mean "subjects"?
subject
like language is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone
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so
I
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think
that the
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parents
should
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allow
the chill to study.
Secondly
taking
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class
after
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school
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
when the
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parents
who cannot have
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enough
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time
to take care to their kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the children’s to the
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extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can manage the children.

In contrast
, taking too much
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time
the study will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the
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students
. They will have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
or learn about physical education and life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
That is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the children do not have the life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
or have not learned about physical education it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for them. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do the extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
they can
also
relax after the stressful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They can do learn taekwondo or sport or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
clubs
also
find for their hobbies.

To sum up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and
also
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should consider between the non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
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IELTS essay Taking other classes after school was very popular in a lot of counties

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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