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t is believed that studying higher education is the best option for students to reach their achievements,

t is believed that studying higher education is the best option for students to reach their achievements, 30bYb
Although it is believed that studying higher education is the best option for students to reach their achievements, others find it is necessary to apply for jobs right after high school. Both opinions have its own good points and bad points, personally, I prefer continuing with university or college is more advantageous than getting a job after school without any knowledge bases. Starting a job straight after graduating from high school is attractive for numerous reasons. Firstly, young generation tend to begin their career as soon as possible, so they can afford for their own living, pay for their household expenses. Due to that, they will be more mature and become independently with their own income while others still depend on their parents. Furthermore, people getting a job instead of attending to a higher education is commonly to develop significantly in their career path. That would be a good chance for young people to face challenges and gain a large amount of experience from those. On the top of that, those help them to cultivate their thinking, enrich their knowledge and also enhance concentration and creativity without spending time on university or college. On the contrary, I believe it is beneficial for the youth to continue their studies. It may brings a number of merits such as qualifications which are the definitely requirement of big companies these days. The percentage of people with a college degree having a job is commonly higher than the ones who don’t. As a result, the graduates have chances to join better job opportunities. What is more, the job opportunities become more rare and competitive, sometimes a thousand of applications just for one position. Because of that, young people would be well-advised to possess their own degree, if not, they cannot compete with those who have professional experience. Therefore, it is an obviously condition for the youth to achieve their successes in the future. To sum up, two argued sides have their own pros and cons. In my view, I strongly opine that attending in higher education such as university or college would be the best decision for our young generation to have chances in self-growth and contribute to their successful career in the upcoming years.
Although it
is believed
that studying higher education is the best option for students to reach their achievements, others find it is necessary to apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
right after high school. Both opinions have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
points,
personally
, I prefer continuing with university or college is more advantageous than getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after school without any knowledge bases.

Starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
straight after graduating from high school is attractive for numerous reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
their career as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can afford for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
living, pay for their household expenses. Due to that, they will be more mature and become
independently
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income while others
still
depend on their parents.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
instead
of attending to a higher education is
commonly
to develop
significantly
in their career path. That would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to face challenges and gain a large amount of experience from those. On the top of that, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to cultivate their thinking, enrich their knowledge and
also
enhance concentration and creativity without spending time on university or college.

On the contrary
, I believe it is beneficial for the youth to continue their studies. It may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "bring"
brings
a number of merits such as qualifications which are the definitely requirement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
these days. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a college degree having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
commonly
higher than the ones who don’t.
As a result
, the graduates have chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
What is more
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities become more rare and competitive,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a thousand of applications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for one position.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be well-advised to possess their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
degree, if not, they cannot compete with those who have professional experience.
Therefore
, it is an
You used an adverb ('obviously') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('condition') instead of another adjective.
obviously condition
for the youth to achieve their successes in the future.

To sum up, two argued sides have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons. In my view, I
strongly
opine that attending in higher education such as university or college would be the best decision for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to have chances in self-growth and contribute to their successful career in the upcoming years.
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IELTS essay t is believed that studying higher education is the best option for students to reach their achievements,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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