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something about respiratory system

something about respiratory system GL9rL
Yes, and today in my talk, I will tell you about your respiratory system. Firstly what is the respiratory system? This is a system of the body lets us breathe in oxygen with our lungs and breathe out carbon dioxide. And This system has a lot of parts but today I am going to introduce to you 3 basic parts including your airways, lungs and blood vessels. All they work together to move the oxygen throughout the body and clean out waste gases like carbon dioxide Now let's move on to the next part about its function. As you know, the respiratory system helps you breathe in and breathe out, yet it has more than your thinking. So I will get you to know right now. Besides helping you respire, it also allows yu to talk and to smell, Warms air to match your body temperature and moisturizes it to the humidity level your body needs and Delivers oxygen to the cells in your body, protects your air ways from harmful substances. How important is this! So we need to keep your respiratory system healthy. Well Wear a mask if you hangs out because the fumes from vehicles really harmful for your lung. Septically in covid 19, wearing a mark becomes more necessary for us. And of course Don't smoke. Eat a healthy diet with lots of fruits and vegetables and drink water and Exercise regularly to keep your lungs healthy. You must Remember Preventing infections by washing your hands often and getting a flu vaccine each year.
Yes, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in my talk, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about your respiratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
Firstly
what is the respiratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
? This is a
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system
of the
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body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breathe
in oxygen with our lungs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breathe
out carbon dioxide. And This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
parts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I am going to introduce to you 3 basic parts including your airways, lungs and blood vessels. All they work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the oxygen throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and clean out waste gases like carbon
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
dioxide


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Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to the
next
part about its function. As you know, the respiratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breathe
in and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breathe
out,
yet
it has more than your thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
you to know right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Besides
helping you respire, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
Possible spelling mistake found.
yu
to talk and to smell, Warms air to match your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
temperature and moisturizes it to the humidity level your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
needs and Delivers oxygen to the cells in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, protects your air ways from harmful substances. How
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is this!
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your respiratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
healthy. Well Wear a mask if you
The pronoun 'you' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "hang"
hangs
out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the fumes from vehicles
really
harmful for your lung.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Septically
in
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
, wearing a mark becomes more necessary for us. And
of course
Don't smoke. Eat a healthy diet with lots of fruits and vegetables and drink water and Exercise
regularly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your lungs healthy. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Remember Preventing infections by washing your hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and getting a flu vaccine each year.
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IELTS essay something about respiratory system

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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