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Some people think young people should be free to choose job while others believe they should be more realistic while choosing job.both view

Some people think young people should be free to choose job while others believe they should be more realistic while choosing job. both view y7xRV
It is argued by some people that whether youngsters should have freedom to find employment of their own choice or they ought to be more logical while seeking for a job. Even though, both notions have their own ideologies, I believe people need to be more conscious while looking for a job. This essay intends to shed a light on both perspectives which will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, why there are some masses who opine it is the right of individuals to choose career according to their interest? Commencing with the predominant reason, individuals who work in their favourite sectors are more active. This is to say, when a person completely enjoys his work then ultimately, individual become productive and further the workplace where he works get more developed. Working in a job of own interest not only make people active but also can provide them fame in future. To cite an example, Sushant Singh Rajput, a famous bollywood actor left his engineering job and choosed acting career, after struggling for a period of time, he became famous and bollywood industry got many viewers from worldwide due to his astonishing acting skills. As a result, people may not enjoy their jobs unless they are not of their own interest. On the other hand, despite the facts of choosing job of own interest, there are a handful of people who think people should be more realistic while searching for a job. Considerably, the major reason is, it is hard to manage budget in this expensive world. In other words, people who choose employment sector wisely can manage their expenditures easily unlike those who are waiting and struggling for finding a career of their own choice in order to make a comfortable life. For example, a survey conducted by Forbes magazine which revealed that 80% people were leading a lavish lifestyle who are working between 9: 00 to 5: 00. Consequently, for meeting daily life expenditures, one should be more logical while searching for a job. To conclude, needless to say, working in job of own taste can make people more productive but I think individuals must choose jobs properly in order to survive in this expensive era.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that whether youngsters should have freedom to find employment of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choice or
they ought to be more logical while seeking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Even though
, both notions have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ideologies, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be more conscious while looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This essay intends to shed a light on both perspectives which will
be discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, why there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
opine it is the right of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to choose career according to their interest? Commencing with the predominant reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sectors are more active. This is to say, when a person completely enjoys his work then
ultimately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
become productive and
further
the workplace where he works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more developed. Working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
active
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can provide them fame
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. To cite an example,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sushant
Singh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rajput
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
bollywood
actor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
his engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "chose", the past tense form of the verb 'choose'?
choosed
acting career, after struggling for a period of time, he became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bollywood
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
viewers from worldwide due to his astonishing acting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
unless they are not of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest.

On the other hand
, despite the facts of choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "handfuls", "handsful"?
handful
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be more realistic while searching for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Considerably
, the major reason is, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to manage budget in this expensive world.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose employment sector
wisely
can manage their expenditures
easily
unlike those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are waiting and struggling for finding a career of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a comfortable life.
For example
, a survey conducted by Forbes magazine which revealed that 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were leading a lavish lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working between 9: 00 to 5: 00.
Consequently
, for meeting daily life expenditures, one should be more logical while searching for a job.

To conclude
, needless to say, working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
taste can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more productive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
properly
in order to survive in this expensive era.
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IELTS essay Some people think young people should be free to choose job while others believe they should be more realistic while choosing job. both view

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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