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Swiming, my favorite activity.

Swiming, my favorite activity. 7WMBX
I want to talk about one of my favorite activities, swimming. My family and I used to go to the north of Iran, the wrestling capital of the world, the beautiful city of Mazandaran, a few days a year before the outbreak of the infamous Corona virus. A seaside town with golden beaches and the nearest beach was only five minutes away from our hotel. So, in the summer, my family and I would go out and swim in the cool water to stay warm. In fact, swimming is a relatively easy sport. I learned to swim around the age of 8, and a few months later I became acquainted with a number of swimming movements such as chest, backstroke and butterfly. Before entering the water, I warm up and stretch my muscles and joints to avoid injury, then put on a swimsuit and jump into the water. I really enjoy swimming on the beach and in the pool for a variety of reasons. First, unlike other water sports such as scuba diving or surfing, which require pre-purchased equipment, swimming is free. Secondly, swimming is very useful for our health and is one of the sports that the Holy Prophet of Islam, Hazrat Mohammad Mustafa (peace be upon him) strongly recommended. I do this exercise for the whole body, because all the muscles of our body are used during swimming. It also strengthens endurance, muscle strength and cardiovascular fitness. Finally, swimming is a great way to have fun because I allow myself to relax, reduce stress and have fun with my family. The summer was over, but due to the critical situation of the city of Mazandaran, we could not travel to this city. Hopefully one day we will be able to travel without masks and gloves and enjoy the times of our lives to the fullest.
I want to talk about one of my favorite activities, swimming. My family and I
used
to go to the north of Iran, the wrestling capital of the world, the
beautiful
city of
Mazandaran
, a few days a year
before
the outbreak of the infamous
Corona virus
. A seaside town with golden beaches and the nearest beach was
only
five minutes away from our hotel.
So
, in the summer, my family and I would go out and swim in the cool
water
to stay warm. In fact, swimming is a
relatively
easy sport. I learned to swim around the age of 8, and a few months later I became acquainted with a number of swimming movements such as chest, backstroke and butterfly.
Before
entering the
water
, I warm up and stretch my muscles and joints to avoid injury, then put on a swimsuit and jump into the
water
. I
really
enjoy swimming on the beach and in the pool for a variety of reasons.
First
, unlike other
water
sports such as scuba diving or surfing, which require pre-
purchased
equipment, swimming is free.
Secondly
, swimming is
very
useful for our health and is one of the sports that the Holy Prophet of Islam,
Hazrat
Mohammad Mustafa (peace be upon him)
strongly
recommended. I do this exercise for the whole body,
because
all the muscles of our body are
used
during swimming. It
also
strengthens endurance, muscle strength and cardiovascular fitness.
Finally
, swimming is a great way to have fun
because
I
allow
myself to relax,
reduce
stress
and have fun with my family.

The summer was over,
but
due to the critical situation of the city of
Mazandaran
, we could not travel to this city.
Hopefully
one day we will be able to travel without masks and gloves and enjoy the times of our
lives
to the fullest.
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IELTS essay Swiming, my favorite activity.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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