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In many parts of the world children and teenagers are speending more and more of their time indoors

In many parts of the world children and teenagers are speending more and more of their time indoors DVGgA
That the reasons behind the sedentary lifestyle remains controversial amongst many parts of the world. From my personal perspective, this issue should be attributed to the pollution. This essay will demystify these reasons and propose several measurements. To begin with, the main culprit that juniors devote the considerable amount of time indoors is pollution. These days, especially in mega cities, the density of smog disposed by private vehicles is detrimental. These toxic brings about both short-term repercussions as well as long-term consequences. In the immediate future, natural environment could be exacerbated. Considering the long-term, citizens’ health could be severely compromised, especially causing fatal illnesses. The emergence of manufactures also adds to the gravity of the atmosphere. Ho Chi Minh City perfectly epitomizes this problem. In this city, due to the fast-paced industrialization that results in the significant growth of motorbikes and cars commuting on streets during peak hours. As a consequence, children who are sensitive to pollution are advised to stay at home. I believe that governments should take several measurements into consideration. In the first place, there should be places such as yards or parks where the quality of air is guaranteed that create opportunities for children to enjoy outdoor activities after school time. In fact, introducing regulations related to the restrictions of cars and motorbikes in urban areas should also be considered. Another measurement lies in education from both parents and school. Living in cities means it is inevitable not to be affected by pollution or toxic. Therefore, parents associated with teachers should educate teenagers methods to protect themselves such as wearing a mask. These examples serve as a testimony that juveniles should be fostered to frequently get out and enjoy outdoor atmosphere in preference to spending time in virtual life such as video games. In conclusion, the fact that children spending the vast majority of free time indoors is the result of industrialization and transportation. Beside aforementioned measurements, I believe that voluntary work also serves as an incentive for children to get outdoor more frequently.
That the reasons behind the sedentary lifestyle remains controversial amongst
many
parts of the world. From my personal perspective, this issue should
be attributed
to the
pollution
. This essay will demystify these reasons and propose several measurements.

To
begin
with, the main culprit that juniors devote the considerable amount of
time
indoors is
pollution
. These days,
especially
in mega
cities
, the density of smog disposed by private vehicles is detrimental. These toxic brings about both short-term repercussions
as well as
long-term consequences. In the immediate future, natural environment could
be exacerbated
. Considering the long-term, citizens’ health could be
severely
compromised,
especially
causing fatal illnesses. The emergence of manufactures
also
adds
to the gravity of the atmosphere. Ho Chi Minh City
perfectly
epitomizes this problem. In this city, due to the
fast
-paced industrialization that results in the significant growth of motorbikes and cars commuting on streets during peak hours. As a consequence,
children
who are sensitive to
pollution
are advised
to stay at home.

I believe that
governments
should take several measurements into consideration. In the
first
place, there should be places such as yards or parks where the quality of air
is guaranteed
that create opportunities for
children
to enjoy outdoor activities after school
time
. In fact, introducing regulations related to the restrictions of cars and motorbikes in urban areas should
also
be considered
. Another measurement lies in education from both parents and school. Living in
cities
means it is inevitable not to be
affected
by
pollution
or toxic.
Therefore
, parents associated with teachers should educate
teenagers
methods to protect themselves such as wearing a mask. These examples serve as a testimony that juveniles should
be fostered
to
frequently
get
out and enjoy outdoor atmosphere in preference to spending
time
in virtual life such as video games.

In conclusion
, the fact that
children
spending the vast majority of free
time
indoors is the result of industrialization and transportation. Beside aforementioned measurements, I believe that voluntary work
also
serves as an incentive for
children
to
get
outdoor more
frequently
.
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IELTS essay In many parts of the world children and teenagers are speending more and more of their time indoors

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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