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Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford what are the reasons for this behavior?

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford what are the reasons for this behavior? 1VQJy
In a modern-day people are becoming more materialistic these days. As many of them they don't need and debts are common nowadays such people. There are many reasons that have caused this situation and i will elaborate my views in upcoming paragraph and thus will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining further the first and foremost reason behind this is that many people are facing debt problem nowadays due to their modern lifestyle. The high technology of social media such as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. More people are showing their luxuries goods. They take some photos and offer discounts them into the application and it inspired them to buy fancy things. Another striking reasons in this regard is that the significant growth of malls they attract individuals in spending more money on fashionable products like jewelry, fashionable clothes, footwears and other items. The last reason in this regard is that credit card. Credit cards are easier to pay bill these days. Many people are buying expensive things which are greater than their income. Hence of this consumptive lifestyle many people are faced a serious problem of debt. Moving further, there are various things that people could do solve the problem firstly they should purchase things according to their needs and budget because if they purchase things according to their income then they will not get debt problem. Because debt is main issue nowadays many individuals face debt problems because of their modern lifestyle. Secondly instead of adding more malls in the city. Government should focus on building more public parks and childrens playgrounds. Therefore people would have more options for their entertainment. As a consequence if people aware about expenditure of income they never get debt. To conclude, i would like to reiterate that, there are several reasons behind this notion like social media, malls. But also plethora solutions to curb this problem such as buying things according to their needs and salary.
In a modern-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more materialistic these days. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them they don't need and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
are common nowadays such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that have caused this situation and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will elaborate my views in upcoming paragraph and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.

Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
the
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind this is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
nowadays due to their modern lifestyle. The high technology of social media such as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are showing their luxuries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. They take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
photos and offer discounts them into the application and it inspired them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
fancy things. Another striking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
in this regard is that the significant growth of malls they attract individuals in spending more money on fashionable products like jewelry, fashionable clothes,
Possible spelling mistake found.
footwears
and other items. The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
in this regard is that credit card. Credit cards are easier to pay bill these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are buying expensive things which are greater than their income.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
of this consumptive lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are faced
a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of debt.

Moving
further
, there are various things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could do solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
firstly
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things according to their needs and budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things according to their income then they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
is main issue nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their modern lifestyle.
Secondly
instead
of adding more malls in the city.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should focus on building more public parks and
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
playgrounds.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have more options for their entertainment. As a consequence if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware about expenditure of income they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
debt.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to reiterate that, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this notion like social media, malls.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
plethora solutions to curb this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
such as buying things according to their needs and salary.
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IELTS essay Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford what are the reasons for this behavior?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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