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Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. NM5Mg
It is often believed by some people that the price of sugary drinks should be increased in order to convince the users to consume less sugar. I completely agree with this notion because it would not only make the consumers healthy but also influence them towards drinking diet drinks and less sugary products. To begin with, there are plenty of reasons to support this statement but the major one is that increasing the amount of sugary drinks would help people to become healthy and fit. To elaborate it, some individuals consume these kind of drinks on daily basis and end up with suffering from some serious diseases such as diabetes and obesity. If the government increase the price of such drinks, the consumers would find it very expensive to purchase and avoid to consume these drinks, which could keep them away from being unfit and unhealthy. The Times of India, for example, reported in 2017 that in India, 75% of the cases of diabetes patients are because of consuming sugary drinks. Thus, making such drinks expensive would be helpful for the users in terms of improve their health. Another worthwhile reason is that alleviating the market price of these commodities would gravitate the consumers towards adopting some healthy drinks which contain less or even zero sugar in their diet plan. As a result, people would make it their habit and be less interested to consume sugary drinks. For instance, Singapore authority put more tax on these types of drinks in 2018 and the local residents, after that, started drinking hurble tea instead of soft drinks. Therefore, price increment in such drinks would definitely help to reduce the consumption of sugar contained drinks. To conclude, due to improving individuals' well-being and being influencive for the consumers in terms of drinking healthy drinks, I believe that making sugary drinks more costly would be an effective action to encourage people to consume less sugar.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
should
be increased
in order to convince the users to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
influence them towards drinking diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
products.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons to support this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the major one is that increasing the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and fit. To elaborate it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
on daily basis and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious diseases such as diabetes and obesity. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
would find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and avoid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them away from being unfit and unhealthy. The Times of India,
for example
, reported in 2017 that in India, 75% of the cases of diabetes patients are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
.
Thus
, making such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
expensive would be helpful for the users in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.

Another worthwhile reason is that alleviating the market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of these commodities would gravitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
towards adopting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
which contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
or even zero
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in their diet plan.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it their habit and be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
interested to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
.
For instance
, Singapore authority put more tax on these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
in 2018 and the local residents, after that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
drinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
hurble
tea
instead
of soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
increment in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
contained drinks.

To conclude
, due to improving individuals' well-being and being
Possible spelling mistake found.
influencive
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
in terms of drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
, I believe that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
more costly would be an effective action to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
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IELTS essay Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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