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Some people believed that the whole purpose of life is pursuing happiness. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believed that the whole purpose of life is pursuing happiness. 3Y30n
It is a common belief that to have a fulfilled life is reaching the ultimate goal - happiness. Nevertheless, there is a more persuasive argument that everybody should give up the little feelings in consideration of the greater one - peace of mind. To begin with, happiness is a changeable spiritual state that individuals spend their whole life trying to get. This feeling is the culmination of successful progress, so encountering resistance while chasing it can make those people feel frustrated and discouraged. Accordingly, it is evident that this state unsteadily dwells but gradually transforms to its opposition. As an illustration, a struggling actor has a successful pursuit of happiness since his film had broken all-time box office records, and it catapults him into international fame. Then, just as he was cementing his plan to attain more accomplishments, sufferings follow him like his never-departing shadow. On top of that, peace of mind is worthy of meaning in life because of its eternal essence. People believe that the peaceful sense exists ever before in their minds, yet a number of thoughts that control the feelings completely cover it. The implication is that it will reveal if seekers delve into their mind underpinning and return themselves to the stillness of nature. Compared to happiness, this nature is so stable that every fickle thinking cannot spring up, followed by depression, stress, or other negative things go away; therefore, it prolongs life expectancy somehow. According to Bruce Lee’s biography, doctors told him that undoubtedly he would never do kung fu again because of his severe back injury. Practicing philosophical principles helped him finally found peace in his soul, then instituting his own recovery program and becoming a kung fu superstar afterward. To sum up, fulfillment can turn from a particular form into the opposite, and peace of mind is the constant sensation. For this reason, I take the view that life aims at leaving all little feelings behind and looking for the true meaning.
It is a common belief that to have a fulfilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is reaching the ultimate goal
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Nevertheless
, there is a more persuasive argument that everybody should give up the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
in consideration of the greater one
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
of mind.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is a changeable spiritual state that individuals spend their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
is the culmination of successful progress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
encountering resistance while chasing it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel frustrated and discouraged.
Accordingly
, it is evident that this state
unsteadily
dwells
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gradually
transforms to its opposition. As an illustration, a struggling actor has a successful pursuit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
since his film had broken all-time box office records, and it catapults him into international fame. Then,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as he was cementing his plan to attain more accomplishments, sufferings follow him like his never-departing shadow.

On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
is worthy of meaning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its eternal essence.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that the peaceful sense exists ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
,
yet
a number of thoughts that control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
completely cover it. The implication is that it will reveal if seekers delve into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
underpinning and return themselves to the stillness of nature. Compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, this nature is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
stable that every fickle thinking cannot spring up, followed by depression,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, or other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things go away;
therefore
, it prolongs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy somehow. According to Bruce Lee’s biography, doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him that
undoubtedly
he would never do
Possible spelling mistake found.
kung
Possible spelling mistake found.
fu
again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his severe back injury. Practicing philosophical principles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him
finally
found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
in his soul, then instituting his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
recovery program and becoming a
Possible spelling mistake found.
kung
Possible spelling mistake found.
fu
superstar afterward.

To sum up, fulfillment can turn from a particular form into the opposite, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
is the constant sensation.
For this reason
, I take the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
aims at leaving all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
behind and looking for the true meaning.
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IELTS essay Some people believed that the whole purpose of life is pursuing happiness.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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