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Successful sportsmen can earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Reaching stardom in sports is an achievement every sports person dream of. It is true that sportsmen who are successful can receive a great deal than those in other professions. While some people believe that it is worth it, others think it is unjust to others. In my opinion, it is not fair to pay athletes higher than those in other professions because every one is making contributions to the development of the society and humanity in various ways. Sports is really popular in our world today, with lots of fans in various recreational activities. A top professional athlete would always attract lots of supporters and they would always follow them around even on social media. Sequel to this attention they've gained, their employers do their best possible to keep their services. These efforts attracts a lot of great deals and even other companies try to use them to uplift their brand name by giving them endorsement deals. For example, in football, Lionel Messi has a lot of endorsement deals from companies like: puma, Adidas and his club Barcelona FC, does it's possible best to keep his services and by so doing he gives them a good fanbase. However, it is not always fair to pay sportsmen higher than those in other professions as it looks unfair. Professionals from different working fields in one way or the other, contribute immensely to the betterment of mankind. For example, doctors do a great job in taking care of the lives of people; even the health of sportsmen. Pay should be even to equal work. No work should be seen as above the other, not even sports. The event centers where sporting activities are carried out were constructed by those in the engineering and construction sectors and without their effort, they're would be no go event centers. In conclusion, though athletes always draw the attention of the masses, employers and companies and as such attracts mouth watering deals, in my opinion, other professionals should also be treated in that manner and be given great deals too.
Reaching stardom in sports is an achievement every
The plural noun “sports” doesn’t fit after the quantifier “every”. A possessive apostrophe may be missing, or you meant the singular form.
sports
person dream of. It is true that sportsmen who are successful can receive a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
than those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is worth it, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is unjust to others. In my opinion, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to pay athletes higher than those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every one is making contributions to the development of the society and humanity in various ways.

Sports is
really
popular in our world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of fans in various recreational activities. A top professional athlete would always attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
supporters and
they would always follow them around even on social media. Sequel to this attention they've gained, their employers do their best possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their services. These efforts
You should probably use “attract”.
attracts
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
deals and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to uplift their brand name by giving them endorsement deals.
For example
, in football, Lionel Messi has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of endorsement deals from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like: puma, Adidas and his club Barcelona FC, does
Did you mean “its” (possessive pronoun) instead of ‘it’s’ (short for ‘it is’)?
it's
possible best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his services and by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
doing he gives them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
fanbase
.

However
, it is not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to pay sportsmen higher than those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions as it looks unfair. Professionals from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
working fields in one way or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, contribute
immensely
to the betterment of mankind.
For example
, doctors do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
job in taking care of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
; even the health of sportsmen. Pay should be even to equal work. No work should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, not even sports. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
centers where sporting activities
are carried
out
were constructed
by those in the engineering and construction sectors and without their effort,
It seems that only one verb should be used here.
they're would
be no go
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
centers.

In conclusion
, though athletes always draw the attention of the masses, employers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and as such attracts mouth watering deals, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professionals should
also
be treated
in that manner and be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
deals too.
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IELTS essay Successful sportsmen can earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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