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In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

Air and water are indispensable for the very existence of life. As these resources are polluted by various types of industries and construction, it severely affects the people and the environment. Therefore, preventive measures should be taken to stop / arrest further contamination of air and water. One of the reasons for water pollution is the expulsion of / the dumping of enormous amount of industrial waste into rivers and lakes. Air is contaminated by fumes from factories. In order to prevent these issues, it is important to invent an innovative method to treat trash/rubbish. Respective authorities should launch new projects which focus mainly on the purification process of natural resources and the protection of environment. For example, Israel has recently developed an impeccable system which purifies sea water and it has been presented to Indian government. In other words, people should think about how they can keep air and water pure, instead of polluting those resources and causing detrimental effects on health. Furthermore, stringent guidelines should be provided to the factories to deter them from polluting. The government should take punitive actions against the organisations which indulge in water and air contamination. For instance, those industries which cause harm to these essential resources should have their licence cancelled / revoked. This, in turn, will help to prevent / stop other people from involving in similar activity. In short, each industry should rationally think about how their business is negatively affecting the environment and carry out their functions adhering to the government rules. To conclude, modern technologies and strict functioning rules are necessary to prevent the declining quality of air and water. If industries and construction take / adopt / adheres to such precautionary measures, people will definitely have healthier surroundings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
are indispensable for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
existence of life. As these resources
are polluted
by various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and construction, it
severely
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment.
Therefore
, preventive measures should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
/ arrest
further
contamination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and water.

One of the reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution is the expulsion of / the dumping of enormous amount of industrial waste into rivers and lakes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
is contaminated
by fumes from factories. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these issues, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to invent an innovative method to treat trash/rubbish. Respective authorities should launch new projects which focus
mainly
on the purification process of natural resources and the protection of environment.
For example
, Israel has recently developed an impeccable system which purifies sea
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
water and
it has
been presented
to Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pure,
instead
of polluting those resources and causing detrimental effects on health.

Furthermore
, stringent guidelines should
be provided
to the factories to deter them from polluting. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take punitive actions against the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisations’ is British English.
organisations
which indulge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
contamination.
For instance
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
which cause harm to these essential resources should have their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘licence’ is British English.
licence
cancelled / revoked. This, in turn, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from involving in similar activity. In short, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
should
rationally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how their business is
negatively
affecting the environment and carry out their functions adhering to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

To conclude
, modern technologies and strict functioning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the declining quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and construction take / adopt / adheres to such precautionary measures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will definitely have healthier surroundings.
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IELTS essay In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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