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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shareed freely. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

People have various views about disclosed data to others based on technological analysis, commerce as well as educational fields as opposed to make a barrier to not to be published to general. Obviously, although, giving necessary reports to normal people can create huge problem, on the cotrary, we should provide them to enhance our knowledge. As the progress of a civilization depend upon data, so for our new generation, we need a great resource of wisdom. By the way, we will be abled to achieve a improved nation as well as a developed society. For example, Corona virus is spreading to whole glove. Therefore, the scientist should do open all of their contribution back of their every research. Furthermore, more activity have to done by other researcher. However, nevertheless, in some aspects, every country would not like to express their internal security system, but I think they have their right to protect them as well as their sovereinity. Such as India and Pakistan are in top headline always. Always a coldwar is goes on to those countries. No sooned had, India made nuclear bomb, than Pakistan also created another nuclear weapons for their protection. While exchanging data and knowledge has a number of demerits, on the other hand I believe by sharing them usually has huge benefites too. In addition, by giving information an university can make progress in research. Because of, the advancement of our earth is developed not by a person or a nation, so exchange of data can flourish our entire planet. Last but not least, though, business policy have share to the related business to make more profit in a country, alternatively, internal security of a country should not exchange to others.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have various views about disclosed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to others based on technological analysis, commerce
as well
as educational fields as opposed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a barrier
One ‘to’ seems to be obsolete.
to not to
be published
to general.

Obviously
, although, giving necessary reports to normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can create huge problem, on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
cotrary
, we should provide them to enhance our knowledge. As the progress of a civilization depend upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for our new generation, we need a great resource of wisdom. By the way, we will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
abled
to achieve
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
nation
as well
as a developed society.
For example
,
The term “Coronavirus” (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona virus
is spreading to whole glove.
Therefore
, the scientist should do open all of their contribution back of their every research.
Furthermore
, more activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
researcher.

However
,
nevertheless
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would not like to express their internal security system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they have their right to protect them
as well
as their
Possible spelling mistake found.
sovereinity
. Such as India and Pakistan are in top headline always.
The adverb ‘Always’ is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Always
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
coldwar
is goes on to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. No
Possible spelling mistake found.
sooned
had, India made nuclear bomb, than Pakistan
also
created another nuclear weapons for their protection.

While exchanging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and knowledge has a number of demerits, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand I believe by sharing them
usually
has huge
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “benefits”, the plural form of the noun ‘benefit’?
benefites
too.
In addition
, by giving information
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
university can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress in research.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of, the advancement of our earth
is developed
not by a person or a nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exchange of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
can flourish our entire planet.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, though, business policy have share to the related business to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more profit in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
alternatively
, internal security of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should not exchange to others.

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shareed freely.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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