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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. QmD1
It is obvious that sport industry grew into entertainment sphere, which always keeps by people attention. Consumerism continues to rise every day. Therefore salaries of sports professionals become exclusively higher and reach the level of famous artists, while representatives of such significant areas as education or medicine receive fairly average income. Making a lot of money by athletes is a painstaking and complex work that requires much time and effort. Not everyone manages to enter the world stage and make a name. Many well-known sportsmen as footballer Lionel Messi spend a huge amount of time training developing willpower and discipline. However, such familiar names turn to brands, which promote due to advertising and cooperation with various companies. A sign of this is the thousands and millions of fans, the close attention of the public, as well as new endorsement deals. This leads to unjustifiably high earnings, which often cause confusion. Meanwhile members of vital professions, who contribute to the maintenance and development of life, receive a small pay, which is barely enough to live on. Doctors, invested a huge amount of time and effort in their studies and internship, do a hard work saving lives. Teachers not only educate people, inspire us and find an individual approach to everyone, but also guide us on the right path. There are also a significant number of professions in which work can pose a threat to health, and even life. Firefighters, for instance, perform extremely dangerous work for saving others’ lives. In my view, people should reconsider social prioritizes and address the income gap between different areas. In this way, everyone can feel valued and needed in this world.
It is obvious that sport industry grew into entertainment sphere, which always
keeps
by
people
attention. Consumerism continues to rise every day.
Therefore
salaries of sports professionals become exclusively higher and reach the level of
famous
artists, while representatives of such significant areas as education or medicine receive
fairly
average income.

Making
a lot of
money by athletes is a painstaking and complex
work
that requires much time and effort. Not everyone manages to enter the world stage and
make
a name.
Many
well-known sportsmen as footballer Lionel Messi spend a huge amount of time training developing willpower and discipline.
However
, such familiar names turn to brands, which promote due to advertising and cooperation with various
companies
. A
sign
of this is the thousands and millions of fans, the close attention of the public,
as well
as new endorsement deals. This leads to
unjustifiably
high earnings, which
often
cause confusion.

Meanwhile
members of vital professions, who contribute to the maintenance and development of life, receive a
small
pay, which is
barely
enough
to
live
on. Doctors, invested a huge amount of time and effort in their studies and internship, do a
hard
work
saving
lives
. Teachers not
only
educate
people
, inspire us and find an individual approach to everyone,
but
also
guide us on the right path. There are
also
a significant number of professions in which
work
can pose a threat to health, and even life. Firefighters,
for instance
, perform
extremely
dangerous
work
for saving others’
lives
.

In my view,
people
should reconsider social prioritizes and address the income gap between
different
areas. In this way, everyone can feel valued and needed in this world.
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IELTS essay Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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