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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? VNDJ
A faction of society believes that advertisements trick consumers into buying things that they do not require while another faction believes that advertising is primarily helping consumers to upgrade their lives by providing solutions. This essay will discuss the latter viewpoint at length. The prime focus of any advertisement is to create awareness of a particular product or service and how it brings value and relevance to the life of the consumer. For instance, Apply iPhones is built on the belief of "Ease". Making life easier with the help of an iPhone. They are pioneers of promoting voice-activated tasks to be done on your iPhone which is simplifying the life of a user. Additionally, the advertisements also help the consumer make the right purchase decision. For example, in the case of choosing the right investments policy where it's a fixed-term investment, especially when it's a long term investment. Policybazaar advertisements promoted and made people aware of the varied policies that can be viewed, compared and bought in one place by oneself instead of reaching out to middlemen. In my experience, I have benefited from these product/service commercials. One time, I wanted to acquire this laptop with a particular specification however, it was not available in the offline stores and I had to place an order with that offline store at an extra charge to fetch it from the United States of America. Right then I came across the Flipkart and Amazon commercials of Diwali sale. Since these mega commerce channels run their sale at the same time, it became even easier to check the sale prices on both the websites, evaluate the best price and buy it online by customizing the laptop with my specifications. Hence, to recapitulate, product/service advertisements have been helping the consumer make the right decisions to improve their lives by adding value and providing solutions.
A faction of society believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
trick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
into buying things that they do not require while another faction believes that advertising is
primarily
helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to upgrade their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by providing solutions. This essay will discuss the latter viewpoint at length.

The prime focus of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is to create awareness of a particular product or service and how it brings value and relevance to the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
.
For instance
, Apply iPhones
is built
on the belief of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Ease
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Making life easier with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of an iPhone. They are pioneers of promoting voice-activated tasks to
be done
on your iPhone which is simplifying the life of a user.

Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
decision.
For example
, in the case of choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "investments'" or "investment's"?
investments
policy where it's a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-term investment,
especially
when it's a long term investment.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Policybazaar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
promoted and made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware of the varied policies that can
be viewed
, compared and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in one place by oneself
instead
of reaching out to middlemen.

In my experience, I have benefited from
Did you mean "this product" or "these products"?
these product
/service commercials. One time, I wanted to acquire this laptop with a particular specification
however
, it was not available in the offline stores and I had to place an order with that offline store at an extra charge to fetch it from the United States of America.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Right
then I came across the Flipkart and Amazon commercials of Diwali sale. Since these mega commerce channels run their sale at the same time, it became even easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the sale prices on both the websites, evaluate the best price and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it online by customizing the laptop with my specifications.

Hence
, to recapitulate, product/service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have been helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
decisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by adding value and providing solutions.

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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