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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. 7Ejy
People who are working in important professions are getting jealous when they see the person who becomes celebrities like a film star or sports person as their earnings are less far than the from celebrates. This may happen because such celebrities are always in limelight by mass media where few people who are working in leadership professions are not covered by media. Many people consider this as unfair as, these stars are not making any important roles in a society like soldiers who protect the country from enemy, doctors who servers humanity, and political leader who drivers a country which is not easy at all. Such persons gain low wages compared to sports professionals. We cannot say unfair to anyone as earning money is not depends on the roles that an individual supports. But it is based on the skills that a particular person has gained and has the talent to implement them in the right way. Sportsman is not a star from day one when he joins the sports. He first took the training and has to show best which can limelight own self in front of the selectors. If they are getting selected for national games and if not taking the chance of opportunities, they could not be a star. They can just be normal sport professionals. To conclude I would say that if any sports person earns great then it should not be an injustice as only other sportsperson can understand the sacrifice which other has given.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
professions are getting jealous when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
becomes celebrities like a film star or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
as their earnings are less far than the
Did you mean "form"?
from
celebrates. This may happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such celebrities are always in limelight by mass media where few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working in leadership professions are not covered by media.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider this as unfair as, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
are not making any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in a society like soldiers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
protect the country from enemy, doctors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
servers humanity, and political leader
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
drivers a country which is not easy at all. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
gain low wages compared to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "sport".
sports
professionals.

We cannot say unfair to anyone as earning money is not depends on the roles that an individual supports.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
is based
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has gained and has the talent to implement them in the right way. Sportsman is not a star from day one when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. He
first
took the training and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
best which can limelight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self in front of the selectors. If they are getting selected for national games and if not taking the chance of opportunities, they could not be a star. They can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
professionals.

To conclude
I would say that if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
earns great then it should not be an injustice as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
other sportsperson can understand the sacrifice which other has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
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IELTS essay Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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