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Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. N010
Nowadays, the vast majority of parents neglect their children due to the complementary way of life. Some are of the view that caregivers spend a lesser amount of time with their kids than they did before which causes emotional pain to their children, while others refuse to subscribe to this notion. In my opinion, I totally agree with this statement. To begin with, it is completely true that the pace of life has become so fast and almost no one has enough time to spend with his or her beloved ones. In other words, many caregivers work for a tremendous amount of time to cover their children expenses such as school tuition fees and supplements. For example, In 2014, according to a questionnaire administered by researchers at Chicago University showed that about 80% of parents prefer working extra hours than staying at home in order to earn a great deal of money. It is argued that these mothers and fathers believe that their children need their money not their time. Nevertheless, it is evidently clear that the catering of the needed love and attention to offsprings plays a major role in their emotional development; it helps them significantly to be healthy adults down the road. To illustrate, teenagers strive to care and benevolence more than materialistic items for their emotional well being. For instance, this has been scientifically proven by a research conducted by Cambridge University which emphasizes the fact that successful and wealthy people have caring parents who kept an eye on them. Thus, they grow up confident and secure. In conclusion, in the light of what has been discussed above. However, parents have too much responsibility, they should not ignore their offsprings' desires and they have to strike a balance between their personal and practical life
Nowadays, the vast majority of
parents
neglect their
children
due to the complementary way of life.
Some
are of the view that caregivers spend a lesser amount of time with their kids than they did
before
which causes emotional pain to their
children
, while others refuse to subscribe to this notion. In my opinion, I
totally
agree
with this statement.

To
begin
with, it is completely true that the pace of life has become
so
fast
and almost no one has
enough
time to spend with
his or her
beloved ones.
In other words
,
many
caregivers work for a tremendous amount of time to cover their
children
expenses such as school tuition fees and supplements.
For example
, In 2014, according to a questionnaire administered by researchers at Chicago University
showed
that about 80% of
parents
prefer working extra hours than staying at home in order to earn a great deal of money. It
is argued
that these mothers and fathers believe that their
children
need their money not their time.

Nevertheless
, it is
evidently
clear
that the catering of the needed
love
and attention to
offsprings
plays a major role in their emotional development; it
helps
them
significantly
to be healthy adults down the road. To illustrate,
teenagers
strive to care and benevolence more than materialistic items for their emotional
well being
.
For instance
, this has been
scientifically
proven by
a research
conducted by Cambridge University which emphasizes the fact that successful and wealthy
people
have caring
parents
who
kept
an eye on them.
Thus
, they grow up confident and secure.

In conclusion
, in the light of what has
been discussed
above.
However
,
parents
have too much responsibility, they should not
ignore
their
offsprings
'
desires and
they
have to
strike a balance between their personal and practical life
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IELTS essay Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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